IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.

#countries #people #history #house
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A huge number of individuals especially young-aged generation prefer to investigate the historical building that they lived in and delve into the culture inherited from local inhabitants.
This
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 essay will illustrate reasons why
people
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 in researching their accommodations and the methods they use. First of all, it should be stated that with the help of technology and science youngsters are keen on investigating the environment and surroundings. The terrain that
people
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 live in has always generated inordinate feelings about what events happened in their buildings and who were previous residents.
Also
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, the style of construction attracts
people
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 to research their homes and get relevant information. In
this
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 way, they understand each detail of their houses and the purpose of each memory protected till their time. There are different methods to search and gather
data
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 about the history of their accommodations and one of them is obtaining valuable
data
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 from old-aged residents. These
people
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 are witnesses of every moment of memories
such
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 as the establishment of the first telephone lines or accidents that happened on floors. Another method of investigating a building can be through some historical artefacts found over the buildings,
such
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 as the plagues of famous
people
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 who lived there previously. Meanwhile, it is possible to request statistical
data
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 from local authorities preserved in their archives. In conclusion,
people
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 are influenced by many factors to find out about the history of their building
such
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 as curiosity, historical heritage, ancestor relationship and property value.
Consequently
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, most of them try out different ways to acquire information including interacting with local residents and obtaining
data
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 from official resources. (S N)
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task achievement
You briefly addressed the reasons and methods people use to research the history of their houses, but you could provide more specific examples to make your explanation clearer and more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally clear and logically ordered, but there are a few awkward phrases that slightly disrupt the flow of the essay. Revising these for clarity and smoothness would improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
You presented a logical structure in your essay, moving from the reasons for the behavior to the methods used, which helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a strong command of language, and your ideas are generally clear and well-organized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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