IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.

#countries #people #history #house
A huge number of individuals especially young-aged generation prefer to investigate the historical building that they lived in and delve into the culture inherited from local inhabitants.
This
 essay will illustrate reasons why
people
 in researching their accommodations and the methods they use. First of all, it should be stated that with the help of technology and science youngsters are keen on investigating the environment and surroundings. The terrain that
people
 live in has always generated inordinate feelings about what events happened in their buildings and who were previous residents.
Also
, the style of construction attracts
people
 to research their homes and get relevant information. In
this
 way, they understand each detail of their houses and the purpose of each memory protected till their time. There are different methods to search and gather
data
 about the history of their accommodations and one of them is obtaining valuable
data
 from old-aged residents. These
people
 are witnesses of every moment of memories
such
 as the establishment of the first telephone lines or accidents that happened on floors. Another method of investigating a building can be through some historical artefacts found over the buildings,
such
 as the plagues of famous
people
 who lived there previously. Meanwhile, it is possible to request statistical
data
 from local authorities preserved in their archives. In conclusion,
people
 are influenced by many factors to find out about the history of their building
such
 as curiosity, historical heritage, ancestor relationship and property value.
Consequently
, most of them try out different ways to acquire information including interacting with local residents and obtaining
data
 from official resources. (S N)
Submitted by checkmyessay9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You briefly addressed the reasons and methods people use to research the history of their houses, but you could provide more specific examples to make your explanation clearer and more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally clear and logically ordered, but there are a few awkward phrases that slightly disrupt the flow of the essay. Revising these for clarity and smoothness would improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
You presented a logical structure in your essay, moving from the reasons for the behavior to the methods used, which helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a strong command of language, and your ideas are generally clear and well-organized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: