IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

8.I. In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is thus necessary for the government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #government #tax
Nowadays there is a growing tendency of
health
 problems among the general people due to over-consumption of ready made junk foods. Some people believe that to tackle these
health
-related issues, the higher
tax
 should be imposed on these foods by the government to make it costly. I think
this
 is a wrong approach because
this
 is not the only reason for
health
 problems, and
this
 may force people to find alternative ways which may prove equally harmful to our
health
.
Firstly
, the imposition of a
tax
 upon fast
food
 in an intention to reduce
health
 issues,
for example
, obesity, tiredness, heart disease, will be proved ineffective as other factors are contributing to these
health
-related problems.
In other words
, apart from the negative impact of fast
food
, a person may
also
 face
health
 issues due to lack of proper physical exercise, having imbalanced diets or excessive body weight.
As a result
, restricting consumption of fast
food
 by imposing increased
tax
 alone is not sufficient to prevent
health
 problems. The government needs to take a comprehensive step to tackle
this
 problem. Another important consideration because of a higher
tax
 on fast
food
 is that it compels people to shift their choice to
food
 alternative to the fast-
food
that is
 equally harmful as fast
food
. Even sometimes home-cooked
food
 which is considered most hygienic and healthy is not produced in a way
that is
 not as healthy and safe as it should be.
For instance
, I personally know a family who is accustomed to using excessive oil and condiments while cooking and take a large amount of red meat which is full of excessive fat in their everyday meal.
As a result
, all the members of the family are obese.
Thus
, it is clear that taxing fast
food
 is not an effective option to curb
health
 issues. To conclude, levy higher
tax
 on fast
food
 to discourage people from having
such
food
 is not a viable option to control obesity and other
health
-related problems.
Submitted by Masudur Rahman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overconsumption
  • Chronic diseases
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Sin tax
  • Subsidize
  • Affordability
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Paternalism
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Industry lobbying
  • Public health initiatives
  • Consumer behavior
  • Regulatory measures
  • Health-conscious
  • Processed foods
  • Fiscal policy
  • Preventative healthcare
  • Behavioral economics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: