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Band 6

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
All around the world,
people
 have different approaches to life
according to
 their cultures and how they are brought up.
Therefore
, huge differences can be seen in every aspect of individuals’ lives which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 each of them unique.
That is
 why, even in minor subjects
such
 as buying a
house
 or renting one,
people
 have various opinions. First and foremost,
due to
 the worries that
people
 are dealing with when it comes to managing their money, buying a
house
 can be a great way to invest.
Although
, individuals have been adopting the latest methods to save and double their money, owning a
house
 has been still the safest way to
gaurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 not only their financial status but
also
 their children’s future.
For instance
, in most countries, an effective policy is giving loans which are offered by banks, so that
people
 can have their dream houses.
Last
 but not least, becoming a landlord
improved
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
 the quality of
people
’s lives where they can focus on their goals and desires
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 being worried about finding a new place to live and changing their houses annually. As long as their minds are busy about
this
 matter, they will not be able to progress and experience other aspects of life. By
this
, they can reach a sense of relief which leads them to have the chance of enjoying new adventures. In conclusion, considering
people
’s lives in which they can have peace apart from the fact that they
gaurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 their future by buying a
house
, makes me realize that its benefits outweigh its disadvantages.
Submitted by layakhosroabadi on

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task achievement
To make your essay more effective, add more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments. For example, mention a particular country or a notable trend in property ownership.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-organized, using more clear and distinct topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could improve coherence. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay by mentioning the cultural differences in approaches to life, including housing.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively ties back to the main points discussed, reinforcing the idea that the benefits of owning a home outweigh the disadvantages.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas on why owning a home is important, including financial security and quality of life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
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