IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans compare the arrangements of different facilities in the Grange public park between 1920 and now. It is clear that most of the buildings have been renewed to match the modern expectations. Moreover, even an underground car park has been built.

The plans compare the arrangements of different facilities in the Grange public park between 1920 and now. It is clear that most of the buildings have been renewed to match the modern expectations.
Moreover
Linking Words
, even an underground car park has been built.
Firstly
Linking Words
, two of the old buildings, namely the stage for musicians and the fountain, have been removed and expanded to respectively a big amphitheatre for concerts, and a water feature in the southeast area of the plant.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of the pond for water plant, a new children’s play area has been established, with a cafe adjacent to it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the seats have been completely rearranged, and their number witnessed a decrease to four from the initials five.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the three initials peripheral rose gardens have been moved to a single one in the centre, in the same place where the old fountain resided.
However
Linking Words
, there is still one rose garden nearby the new amphitheatre, in the same position where it was beforehand.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the two entrances remained in the same position

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: