IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #teenagers
It is considered by some that
money
 is the greatest
gift
 that anyone can give to adolescents. Interestingly,
however
, others opposed that
this
 is not true. In my own opinion, giving these children the best time together is the greatest
gift
 that teenagers can receive. On the one hand, there is a reason why some people believe that monetary gifts are the best for youngsters.
This
 is because it can teach them how to manage
money
 effectively. Teenagers will be capable to decide when and where they can utilize the
money
 that was gifted to them.
For instance
, if they want to purchase something, they will learn the need to save
money
 thereby increasing their awareness on the proper saving and spending.
Hence
, some people view
this
 as the best gifts ever.
On the other hand
, others argue that
money
 can't be the greatest
gift
 to give these adolescents. One reason is that it can take away the essence of
gift
 giving.
This
 can instill in these teenager's mild that
money
 is important in everything.
As a result
, it will somehow pay less importance to moral values
such
 as sharing and loving one another.
Thus
, others feel that
this
 kind of
gift
 can't be the best
gift
. In my own perspective, I consider that the best
gift
 that people can give to children is quality bonding time. While
money
 can buy material things, it can never buy family and passion.
Moreover
,
money
 only provides temporary happiness, but a family can give these children everlasting happiness.
Therefore
, I think that love and care are the best gifts to give. In conclusion, people may vary in opinions, I believe that for teenagers to grow up as better people, they should not be spoiled with monetary gifts, but rather give them the best time together as a precious member of a family.
Submitted by rhuge.k.t on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • budget
  • save
  • informed spending decisions
  • personal preferences
  • practical and efficient
  • unwanted or inappropriate gifts
  • impersonal
  • emotional value
  • thoughtfulness
  • personal consideration
  • wise financial decisions
  • frivolously
  • lasting memories and experiences
  • educational courses
  • hobby-related equipment
  • long-lasting positive impact
  • fostering interests and skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: