The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health. To what extent do you agree with these views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, the amount of obese children in developed countries is growing continuously. It is considered by some that the increasing
number
of fast-
food
outlets
generate
Suggestion
generates
this
problem, while there are others who believe that parents are the culprit behind
this
issue for neglecting their
children
Suggestion
children's
child's
child
health. In my opinion, I completely believe that parents are responsible for deteriorating their
children
Suggestion
children's
child
child's
health in relation to weight, but I do not agree that fast
food
outlets have caused the overweight rate to increase. On the one hand, the abundant
number
of fast
food
outlets in
developed
Suggestion
developing
countries
have not been
Suggestion
has not been
a major cause of overweight children.
if
Suggestion
If
young people were raised to follow a healthy
lifestyle
,
then
then
a thousand of McDonald's would not attract them to eat excessively. Take for exam
Japan which
Accept comma addition
Japan, which
has a considerable
number
of fast
food
outlets, yet it has the lowest rate of obesity among children and adults.
Therefore
, it is our choice to eat either health of junk foods, and what children have been accustomed on in their young age groups play a greater role than the
number
of fast-
food
restaurants in their countries.
In addition
to
this
, if the parents follow a healthy
lifestyle
their children would do the same. According to a recent study conducted at Harvard University states that children and adolescents are more likely to consume at least five serving of fruits and vegetables a day if their parents do,
in contrast
, young people who parents eat fast
food
are more likely to do the same.
Hence
, parents play a greater role in the overweight issue among children, and if each parent guides his child to have just one fast
food
meal in one week or
habitual
Suggestion
habituating
habituates
them for a healthy
lifestyle
that would reduce the
number
of obese children enormously. Another factor to consider is the technology which has enticed people of all ages to have a sedentary
lifestyle
.
In other words
, the advance technology provides plenty of entertainment and education websites which may eventually lead people to be physically inactive. A recent study shows that the more TV or phones young people, the more likely they are to gain excess weight. In conclusion, in spite of the increasing
number
of fast-
food
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
counters
, it does not have a major effect on overweight children. In comparison, parents and
technology both
Accept comma addition
technology, both
have caused a growing
number
of obesity in children.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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