It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

#future #proportion #people #population #countries #🔸is #development

It is not beyond the belief that

aging

Suggestion

the aging population

an aging population

population

is increasing in many countries in the Near future since the rate of

population

growth does not keep pace with mortality rate. In

this

essay I am going to discuss and evaluate both merits and demerits of

this

case. One economic advantage is that retired

population

receives more disposable income,

hence

they are more prone to spend money on goods and services, and

consequently

it increases the gross domestic product. As well as

this

, to some extent elderly individuals can improve social welfare as they have more free time to participate in voluntary tasks in local places

such

as charity shops and leisure

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centre

On the other hand

voluntary works done by retired people can be considered as a drawback as well since it can cause some social problems as it decreases the opportunity

Suggestion

for

young people for finding

job

Suggestion

jobs

because

old

Suggestion

older

individuals have not to be paid despite young people that have to be.

Moreover elderly

Accept comma addition

Moreover, elderly

individuals use

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

more frequently.

Hence

the

government

should allocate more budgets in

this

section.

As a result

other areas which

government

should invest in do not get adequate investment which can be considered as a social problem. One economical disadvantage is that elderly individuals are not working anymore, so they don’t contribute economically to the society they live in.

obviously

Suggestion

Obviously

the smaller workforce

reduce

Suggestion

reduces

the gross domestic product. Another drawback of aging

population

is the heavy strain on housing.

This

is because the

elderly individuals

Accept comma addition

elderly, individuals

need assisted living which cost too much for the

government

and the

government

is likely to cut the budget of the other sections to afford

such

a housing that in turn can lead to

social problem

Suggestion

social problems

a social problem

the social problem

. In conclusion, looking around advantages and disadvantages, it

provides

Suggestion

has provided

more disadvantages since totally it

affect

Suggestion

affects

economy

Suggestion

the economy

negatively by reducing the gross domestic product and ultimately reducing social welfare.

Submitted by msharifielts on Tue Aug 06 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

aging population
proportion
mentorship
strain
public healthcare systems
pension schemes
workforce
economic growth
automation
consumption patterns
intergenerational solidarity
sustainable living
environmental conservation

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It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans are facing in the 21st century and sea level is continuing to rise at alarming rates. What are the causes and some possible solutions to global warming?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

According to observations, some animal species have become extinct- or endangered in recent decades. What are reasons behind this tendency? What effects it may have on ecosystems in general?

Some people believe that if police force carries guns, it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?