It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

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It is not beyond the belief that
aging
Suggestion
the aging population
an aging population
population
Use synonyms
is increasing in many countries in the Near future since the rate of
population
Use synonyms
growth does not keep pace with mortality rate. In
this
Linking Words
essay I am going to discuss and evaluate both merits and demerits of
this
Linking Words
case. One economic advantage is that retired
population
Use synonyms
receives more disposable income,
hence
Linking Words
they are more prone to spend money on goods and services, and
consequently
Linking Words
it increases the gross domestic product. As well as
this
Linking Words
, to some extent elderly individuals can improve social welfare as they have more free time to participate in voluntary tasks in local places
such
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as charity shops and leisure
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
voluntary works done by retired people can be considered as a drawback as well since it can cause some social problems as it decreases the opportunity
of
Suggestion
for
young people for finding
job
Suggestion
jobs
because
old
Suggestion
older
individuals have not to be paid despite young people that have to be.
Linking Words
Moreover elderly
Accept comma addition
Moreover, elderly
individuals use
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
more frequently.
Hence
Linking Words
the
government
Use synonyms
should allocate more budgets in
this
Linking Words
section.
As a result
Linking Words
other areas which
government
Use synonyms
should invest in do not get adequate investment which can be considered as a social problem. One economical disadvantage is that elderly individuals are not working anymore, so they don’t contribute economically to the society they live in.
obviously
Suggestion
Obviously
the smaller workforce
reduce
Suggestion
reduces
the gross domestic product. Another drawback of aging
population
Use synonyms
is the heavy strain on housing.
This
Linking Words
is because the
elderly individuals
Accept comma addition
elderly, individuals
need assisted living which cost too much for the
government
Use synonyms
and the
government
Use synonyms
is likely to cut the budget of the other sections to afford
such
Linking Words
a housing that in turn can lead to
social problem
Suggestion
social problems
a social problem
the social problem
. In conclusion, looking around advantages and disadvantages, it
provides
Suggestion
has provided
more disadvantages since totally it
affect
Suggestion
affects
economy
Suggestion
the economy
negatively by reducing the gross domestic product and ultimately reducing social welfare.
Submitted by msharifielts on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • mentorship
  • strain
  • public healthcare systems
  • pension schemes
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • automation
  • consumption patterns
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • sustainable living
  • environmental conservation
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