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Writing Samples
Band 7

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government
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As it is always said that prevention is better than cure, I agree that authority should focus towards reducing health issues but, at the same time should provide all the needed medical facilities for curing the diseased ones. The Government should raise funds towards the prevention of the illness so that less people fall ill, which means there will be less treatments needed and government can use these funds towards other public services,
moreover
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, healthy people only can contribute towards the nation's economy.
In addition
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 to
this
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, the whole world is facing the shortage of
care
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 givers in medical centres, as in a survey, it was found that there is only a one nurse available proportional to ten patients,
therefore
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 if there will be less patients
this
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 ratio can be balanced to some extent.
In addition
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, if more people will have health problems, there will be less tax contribution from them as they will not be able to work and reduction of
this
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 stress on tax funds can be achieved by preventing them from getting diseased. The Government should make sure to provide all measures to reduce the number of patients as I discussed above,
however
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, It should
also
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 make sure to facilitates citizens with all the medical treatments
firstly
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, so that those who fall ill can be taken
care
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 on time.
Secondly
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, if there will be all medical equipments and facilities available, virus and flus can be controlled on time which will result in lesser number of patients.
Lastly
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, it's the right of all the citizens to get all the well equipped medical centre and treatments so the government should take
care
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 of them properly. In conclusion, while, I agree with the fact that government should provide proper funding to prevent deceases and making citizens healthy, but simultaneously should
also
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 take
care
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 of making medical treatments accessible to all the people.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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