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Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

#lifestyles #parents #time #children #attention
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Discoveries of technology and the development of
world
Suggestion
the world
has
Suggestion
have
impact
Suggestion
an impact
 on
people
Suggestion
peoples
 behaviour and their lifestyle.So, parents are busy with their work on employment field and now they have
tiny amount
Suggestion
a tiny amount
tiny amounts
 of
time
 to spare with
thier
of them or themselves
their
three
 children.Which has
harmful effect
Suggestion
harmful effects
a harmful effect
 on child behaviour.
Therefore
, I strongly agree with
this
 statement that, in current
lifestyles children
Accept comma addition
lifestyles, children
 do not get proper guidelines from their parents as they had in the previous decade.
To begin
 with, now people have long working hour and they have to take
rest
Suggestion
a rest
 when come back in home.
As a result
, parents
does not have
Suggestion
do not have
huge
Suggestion
a huge time
time
 to
spent
Suggestion
spend
 with their kids, while in
last
decades they
Accept comma addition
decades, they
 had
short
Suggestion
shorter
 times
on
Suggestion
at
to
for
 work and spend most of the
time
 with their children.
This
 is
happened
Suggestion
happening
 for opening various companies which
creates
Suggestion
create
 lots of employability.
For example
, our previous generation had passed much more
time
 with parents because at that
time
 people did not often find a job which compel them to consumed times with their children.
Furthermore
, working overtime to meet family expenses has an impact on parents lifestyles.Now, they have to do work on extra
time
 to carry their family consumption.As a consequence, children do not get the opportunity to
passing
Suggestion
pass
 most of the moments with parents.
Wheather
Suggestion
Whether
, in previous term a child grew up with got the proper guidelines from their parents because there were few vacancies of doing
job
Suggestion
the job
a job
.
In addition
, demands of education isolated children from their father and mother.Because, now they have to be passing more
time
 on educational institutions rather than at home. To conclude, I believe that if
parent
Suggestion
a parent
the parent
 gives more
time
 to their children, it will be develop their mental and physical well beings.
Thus
, in current situation little
time
 spent with
child
Suggestion
children
the child
 has
detrimental effect
Suggestion
a detrimental effect
for
Suggestion
in
 the long run.
Submitted by Mahfuz on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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