IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
It is argued that being responsible for social activities is
also
 a vital role for enterprises to play
besides
 generating profits. Personally,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 totally agree that companies should contribute more responsibility for society rather than simply making money. On the one hand, the efforts of companies to maximize their profits
also
 have some benefits for society.
Firstly
, the more revenue earned by enterprises, the more taxes paid to the government.
As a result
, authorities could spend
this
 budget in key fields, including education and health care, which leads to an improvement in the quality of life of the whole community.
Secondly
, by creating huge profits, companies are able to expand their business and bring more job opportunities for the locals. Multinational corporations
such
 as Apple and Samsung are typical examples. They have their subsidiaries all around the world which helps create new jobs and reduce unemployment rates in many nations.
On the other hand
, there are strong reasons why businesses should accept that they have social responsibilities. The
first
 reason is that their production activities could affect detrimentally to the environment. Exhaust fume and emissions released from factories or manufacturers are main contributors to the environment degradation
such
 as global warming, ozone depletion.
For instance
, if enterprises installed appropriate waste treatment systems
instead
 of discharging chemicals directly into lakes or rivers, water pollution could be controlled. Another reason is that their support to local education and health care systems would make society wealthy, which bring them back productive labour force. For examples, Vinamilk, a Vietnam company, annually launches their campaigns to provide scholarships, and build schools or libraries for poor children in rural areas. In conclusion,
although
 making money is the top priority for each company, they
also
 had better cared for social activities.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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