IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
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Several
people
 assume that it is better to agree on a wrong circumstance,
for example
, a disappointing occupation or a low salary. Some argue that it is superior to try and enhance
such
 conditions.
This
 essay will partially agree and give both views. Being in a bad
job
 will have a lot of consequences for the person in the future, physically and mentally. If the
job
 has a shortage of money it would be better to quit and find a
job
 that has a more significant salary. some other jobs don't have any convenience, whatever, they provide a high wage, mostly prefer to quit and
along with
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
 new position, another type of jobs don't have any privacy which is
also
 a wild reason for
people
 to quit. Another type of
people
 doesn't want to change their position no matter if it has low pay or even bad behaviour from the company employment,
however
, that because many reasons, for instance, maybe the location of the organisation is pretty near to the person's house and family, another reason, is the second company requirement. In conclusion, many
people
 have their own reasons for accepting their faith, whether, it is changing their company and getting to another one which will change their full life routine, or having another
job
 that will make their life more adventurous. In my opinion, I am more into having an interesting life, so I will probably try to improve my CV and
then
 apply for a new
job
Submitted by Endo on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses both sides of the argument, ensure that each viewpoint is elaborated with specific examples and detailed reasoning. This would make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the logical structure of your essay. Smooth transitions and more coherent organization of ideas can enhance readability. For example, introducing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help in this regard.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well. However, it would benefit from a more decisive restatement of the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively restates your opinion and provides a personal touch, which adds to the persuasiveness of your argument.
task achievement
You have covered both perspectives of the argument, showing a balanced approach to the essay prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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