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Writing Samples
Band 4

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future
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Some people believe that the average of people's
health
Use synonyms
 may be lower in the future than it is now. It seems possible because of the
continuous
Suggestion
continuously
 growing of digital products and the amount of time we spend on them,
however
Linking Words
, in my opinion, I disagree with the assumption that people’s
health
Use synonyms
 is going to become poorer. Because of the
revolution
Use synonyms
 of cities, there are many cities and will be more cities around the world, which,
unavoidable
Suggestion
unavoidably
, leads to a decrease in the population of farmlands and fish-lands.
This
Linking Words
 may be the reason for the other side, but according to statistics the average of lifetime in cities is generally longer than the one in the remote areas which some doctors, sociologists and psychologists believe that the advancement in the cities' hospital facilities, the everyday busyness in almost every aspect and the immersions toward the city communities and the newness of meeting with different of people all contribute to the longer lifespan in city rather than the countryside, where a huge amount people believe to be the perfect place for retirements. And the increasingly expanding of cities in under-developing countries will contribute to the improvements in the average standard of people’s
health
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, though
cityful
Suggestion
 may seem to be a disadvantage of human
health
Use synonyms
, we shall never deny the power of placebo. With the
revolution
Use synonyms
 of
industry
Suggestion
the industry
, we survived throughout the time and being stronger and
more healthy
Suggestion
healthier
, and there is no evidence that with the
revolution
Use synonyms
 of the Internet and Artificial Intelligence we will become weaker and
less
Suggestion
less healthy
health
Use synonyms
. With the help of
industrial
Suggestion
the industrial revolution
revolution
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, the factory occurs which allows us to mass-produce medicines which helped us maintain our
health
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 and interestingly increased the average standard of our
health
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,
hence
Linking Words
, from the speculation of the
past I
Accept comma addition
past, I
 believe that there is no evidence of which the development of our technology is going to decrease our
health
Use synonyms
 level but, in fact, to increase it.
Hence
Linking Words
, from the speculation of the past and the study of that trend, I opine that the average standard of people's
health
Use synonyms
 is not likely to be lower in the future than it is now.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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