IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#forms #leisure #activity #countries #adults #reason #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For many youngsters, shopping has become the most loved leisure activity. The primary reasons for
this
 are due to easy
accessibility
Suggestion
access
 to the internet and discounts offered by business firms. In my opinion,
this
 trend brings a positive development since it forges job opportunities and
also
aids
make an addition (to); join or combine or unite with others; increase the quality, quantity, size or scope of
adds
 to generate funds. One of the prime reasons for
this
 trend, I believe, is the easy accessibility of the internet. It is the portal for many online shopping websites
such
 as Amazon and Flipkart, which offers a wide range of latest trending products. To keep up with the current fashion, youngsters do online shopping during their free time. Another reason is discounts offered by a host of production companies. Due to cut-throat competition in the global market, they offer attractive discounts on products to increase their sales.
For example
, Minta fashion, an online shopping site, offers 20% discounts on new arrivals on weekdays between 8 pm to 12 pm.
This
 attracts many youngsters to grab the best deal on clothing
on
Suggestion
for
this
 time duration.   The major benefit of
this
 trend is that it increases job opportunities. Due to increase in demand and supply of items, manufacturing and distribution companies hire more employees.
Such
 recruitment tackles the unemployment issue in
third
 world countries
such
 as India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.
For example
, Amazon, an international e-commerce site, hired over one
lack
Suggestion
lacks
 of
sale
Suggestion
sales
 persons in 2017 as their sales increased by one
third
 as compared to the previous year. 
Moreover
, it helps to generate funds. As the government levies taxes on each and every purchased goods, increased sales will increase national revenue, which could be utilized to alleviate poverty. In conclusion, young adults allured by discounts and do shopping through the internet
in
Suggestion
on
 their spare time, which positively influences the GDP of countries and the employment rate.
Submitted by Advanced technology has changed the way people communicate. Nowadays, many of them prefer texting over talking on phones since the former enable multiple contacts at the same time, and furthermore it aids to remember essential talks. This trend brings both advantages and disadvantages. The primary reason why people use texting to communicate than talking is it saves time. Due to a hectic work schedule, they did not get adequate time to individually contact their family and friends through calling. Text messages, on the other hand, allow to multiple conversation at the same time. Another reason is easy to remember imperative details in the written form . Phone talks can be arduous to recall especially for elderly groups when they have to multiple work to do. For example, a reminder text message about an important meeting helps an employee to be on time. The major disadvantage of this practice is social isolation. As people more indulge in the virtual media, face to face interaction decreases. This not hampers the emotional development of an individual but also shrinks their social circle. Moreover, it affects their linguistic skills. Since mobile phones have preinstalled dictionary and auto correction softwares, they put less affords in remembering spellings this in turn distorts writing and speaking skills. In conclusion, although communication via texting has some minor advantages, I believe it brings more disadvantage such as social isolation and degradation of a language. on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: