Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money

A group of individuals present the view that accepting unpleasant circumstances

such

as an undesirable career or low income is the best way to tolerate the situation,

whereas

others believe that it is highly beneficial to make an effort to boost the status. I strongly agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that human beings should refuse anything they are not happy with. As a person lives once, they must live it in the best way, it applies to their career as well.

Furthermore

, if every worker refuses to work with low wages or unrealistic working hours, the managers will be forced to deal with

this

and improve their offers.

Moreover

, some research findings confirm that working or studying in an unpleasant environment can lead to mental health problems

such

as depression and anxiety.

On the other hand

, another group of people claim that there are several reasons why a person might deal with an unsatisfactory profession or lack of money.

Firstly

, when an individual is not fully qualified, they have no choice except to endure their situation.

Secondly

, in today’s competitive market, opportunities do not meet with the higher number of applicants.

Consequently

, managers will always find an alternative for an unskilled employee.

Finally

, job satisfaction is not that realistic as it cannot be expected that everyone will be happy in their job

due to

low salary or long working hours.

To conclude

, in my view, people should not accept disappointing conditions. It is one’s right to live happily in order to have a sense of freedom.

Moreover

, some individuals are forced to bear their unwanted situation.

Submitted by shabnam.sohanian on Sat Dec 30 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

While the essay demonstrates a logical flow, it could benefit from clearer transitions and the reinforcement of main points with specific examples and evidence to support the arguments. Providing concrete examples can assist in illustrating the points being made and increasing the persuasive power of the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay attempts to address the task, discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. To improve, the essay should aim for a more balanced discussion of both sides and strive to fully develop each point with detailed explanations. Additionally, the conclusion could better reflect a summary of the arguments presented with a clearer restatement of the personal opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Contentment
Resilience
Personal growth
Endurance
Initiative
Advancement
Catalyst
Financial stability
Status quo
Innovation
Missed opportunities
Life satisfaction
Adverse situations
Taking control
Risk assessment
Change management
Self-improvement
Motivation
Stagnation
Proactivity

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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

In some schools, teacher teach a foreign language to student of primary language to student of the introductory class. What are the advantages and disadvantages associated with this phenomenon? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attantion to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

expressing my deep love for them and gratitude for the moments we've shared

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+