Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A group of individuals present the view that accepting unpleasant circumstances

such

as an undesirable career or low income is the best way to tolerate the situation,

whereas

others believe that it is highly beneficial to make an effort to boost the status. I strongly agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that human beings should refuse anything they are not happy with. As a person lives once, they must live it in the best way, it applies to their career as well.

Furthermore

, if every worker refuses to work with low wages or unrealistic working hours, the managers will be forced to deal with

this

and improve their offers.

Moreover

, some research findings confirm that working or studying in an unpleasant environment can lead to mental health problems

such

as depression and anxiety.

On the other hand

, another group of people claim that there are several reasons why a person might deal with an unsatisfactory profession or lack of money.

Firstly

, when an individual is not fully qualified, they have no choice except to endure their situation.

Secondly

, in today’s competitive market, opportunities do not meet with the higher number of applicants.

Consequently

, managers will always find an alternative for an unskilled employee.

Finally

, job satisfaction is not that realistic as it cannot be expected that everyone will be happy in their job

due to

low salary or long working hours.

To conclude

, in my view, people should not accept disappointing conditions. It is one’s right to live happily in order to have a sense of freedom.

Moreover

, some individuals are forced to bear their unwanted situation.

Submitted by shabnam.sohanian on Sat Dec 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

While the essay demonstrates a logical flow, it could benefit from clearer transitions and the reinforcement of main points with specific examples and evidence to support the arguments. Providing concrete examples can assist in illustrating the points being made and increasing the persuasive power of the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay attempts to address the task, discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. To improve, the essay should aim for a more balanced discussion of both sides and strive to fully develop each point with detailed explanations. Additionally, the conclusion could better reflect a summary of the arguments presented with a clearer restatement of the personal opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Contentment
Resilience
Personal growth
Endurance
Initiative
Advancement
Catalyst
Financial stability
Status quo
Innovation
Missed opportunities
Life satisfaction
Adverse situations
Taking control
Risk assessment
Change management
Self-improvement
Motivation
Stagnation
Proactivity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Others think that they should act politely in all circumstances. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your opinion.
In the world of professional sports, a debate rages on the behavior expected from players, both on and off the field. While some argue that it should be allowed to misbehave as long as they are playing good, others say players holds a responsibility to maintain behaviour towards others all the time. This essay will look at the both scenarios before reaching to the conclusion.
7.5
band
(VMN-Fixed)Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is recently argued that there should be more investment in traffic infrastructure than the systems of public transport. Personally, the writer inclines towards the contrary as a way to reduce the number of vehicles on roads, which subsequently eases many problems such as congestion or in environmental terms.
7.5
band
It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?
Taking a gap year before starting university is becoming noticeably common. While this trend has some positive points, I personally believe that its drawbacks are more.
8
band
You recently bought an item of clothing from shop.you discovered that it had a fall and returned it to the shop for replacement or refund. However, the assistant told you that this was against the stores policy. Write a letter to the store manager, explaining the problem, you have had asked for a refund or exchange on the item.
I am writing this letter to complain about the damaged product I received from your brand.
5
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?
English has become an indispensable part of an individual's life being an international language. Some people claim that if local languages donot get the required importance they can be vanished entirely. From my prespective every person needs to learn English, as well as local languages should be provided same significanse as English.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Others think that they should act politely in all circumstances. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your opinion.

(VMN-Fixed)Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?