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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #‘curfew’ #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
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In many parts of the US, adolescents are not allowed to be outside their home after a certain hour of the
night
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 if they are not accompanied by an
adult
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. In my opinion,
this
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 is essential in order to ensure their safety and prevent them from getting involved in some detrimental activities.
Safety
Suggestion
The safety
 of the child is of paramount importance for any parent and in some areas,
this
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 is often compromised during late nights.
Firstly
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, as per the statistics, some localities and areas have a higher crime rate than others. The miscreants and paedophiles operate at
night
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 after a particular time;
hence
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, in
such
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 cases, it is advisable and sensible that teenagers who are naïve and sometimes volatile in their interactions with
such
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 criminals are accompanied by an
adult
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 to deter the crime and mishap.
In addition
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, some areas are prone to accident mainly due to the movement of heavy vehicles, so an
adult
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’s presence and their driving experience
prevents
Suggestion
prevent
 adolescents from any accidental hazards.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are many anti-social groups that operate during
Use synonyms
night
Suggestion
the night
 and try to entice the young teenagers into activities that are detrimental for them
such
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 as, drugs and alcohol consumption. Presence of an
adult
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 or a parent dissuades them in approaching the teenager and
hence
Linking Words
 prevents them from getting involved in activities that are baneful for them as an individual, as well as
has
Suggestion
having
 harmful effects on the society and the community. In conclusion, it is pivotal for a teenager’s safety and holistic growth without any interruption that they are accompanied by an
adult
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 after a certain time of the
night
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;
hence
Linking Words
 the curfew is rightly justified.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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