IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The increase in crime rate in cities is a major concern for governments. Discuss the causes of this increase and suggest ways to reduce crime.

The
increase
Use synonyms
 in
crime
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 rate in cities is a major concern for
governments
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 as it affects the safety and security of the citizens. There are several causes for
this
Linking Words
increase
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 in
crime
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 rate, including
poverty
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,
lack
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 of
education
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, drug
abuse
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, and
unemployment
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.
Poverty
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 is one of the main drivers of
crime
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 as
individuals
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 living in
poverty
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 are often driven to commit crimes in order to make ends meet.
Lack
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 of
education
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 can
also
Linking Words
 contribute to
crime
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 as
individuals
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 with limited
education
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 may find it difficult to find legitimate employment and may turn to
crime
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 as a means of survival. Drug
abuse
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 can
also
Linking Words
increase
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crime
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rates
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 as
individuals
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 under the influence of drugs may engage in criminal behaviour.
Unemployment
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 can
also
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 lead to an
increase
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 in
crime
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 as
individuals
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 who are unable to find work may resort to criminal activities in order to make money. In order to reduce
crime
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rates
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 in cities,
governments
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 can take several steps. Providing
education
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 and job opportunities to
individuals
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 in
poverty
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-stricken areas can help to reduce
crime
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rates
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 as
individuals
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 are more likely to engage in legitimate work and stay out of trouble.
Governments
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 can
also
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 invest in rehabilitation programs for
individuals
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 who
abuse
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 drugs to help them overcome their addiction and reduce the likelihood of them engaging in criminal behaviour. Increasing police presence in high-
crime
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 areas can
also
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 help to deter
individuals
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 from committing crimes.
Finally
Linking Words
, investing in programs that address
poverty
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,
unemployment
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, and
lack
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 of
education
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 can help to reduce
crime
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rates
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 in the long term. In conclusion, the
increase
Use synonyms
 in
crime
Use synonyms
 rate in cities is a major concern for
governments
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 and is caused by
poverty
Use synonyms
,
lack
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
, drug
abuse
Use synonyms
, and
unemployment
Use synonyms
. By addressing these underlying issues,
governments
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 can reduce
crime
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rates
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 and ensure a safer and more secure environment for their citizens.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and support that idea with examples. This helps the reader follow your thoughts more easily.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or case studies to support your points. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Connect your ideas with clear linking words such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'. This improves flow and structure.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which summarize your main points well.
task achievement
You identified relevant causes and solutions regarding crime, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • increase
  • crime
  • rate
  • cities
  • concern
  • government
  • causes
  • suggest
  • ways
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • money
  • job
  • opportunity
  • survive
  • support
  • education
  • struggle
  • work
  • behavior
  • improve
  • system
  • program
  • presence
  • drugs
  • alcohol
  • addict
  • steal
  • commit
  • habits
  • invest
  • rehabilitation
  • treatment
  • accessible
  • community
  • programs
  • disconnected
  • neighborhood
  • report
  • help
  • build
  • centers
  • organize
  • local
  • event
  • strengthen
  • bond
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