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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think school should only teach academic subject. Others think school should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. Discuss both view and give you own opinion.

#people #school #students #right
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Use synonyms
school
Suggestion
School
 are normally seen a place where the
next
Linking Words
 generation can increase knowledge to improve employability. Some people claim that educators’ role should be limited to imparting academic
(
Accept space
(
education
)
Accept space
)
curriculum among students. Others advocate that teachers should teach not only subjects but
also
Linking Words
 disciplines and basic ethical judgments. In my own perspective, academic subject is very important to one’s career achievement, but if students who do no learn the
different
Suggestion
difference
differences
differentiator
differentiation
 between correct and incorrect cannot succeed in their working lives. Many
Use synonyms
teacher
Suggestion
teachers
 suggest that
student
Use synonyms
 should pay more attention
（
Accept space
(
(
concentrate
）
Suggestion
)
 on their main subject
(
Accept space
(
core subjects), because these
curriculum
Suggestion
curriculums
curricula
 decided if they can go to
collage
the body of faculty and students of a college
college
 or not.(
the
Suggestion
The
 performance in these courses can determine whether they can enter university in
future
Suggestion
the future
) What
student
Use synonyms
 learn in academic course can provide a firm ground for
university
Suggestion
the university
 and help them find great
（
Accept space
(
(
decent
）
Suggestion
)
 job
late
Suggestion
later
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
Use synonyms
student
Suggestion
a student
students
the student
 who
（
Accept space
(
(
acquire
）
Suggestion
)
 did
good job
Suggestion
a good job
 in mathematical skills at
school
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 they can studying analyse data at university and work as financial analysts and engineers after they graduate. Beside, many people think that parents can teach children at home and if
student
Use synonyms
 are required to
spent
Suggestion
spend
 time in studying moral
priciples
a basic generalization that is accepted as true and that can be used as a basis for reasoning or conduct
principles
 and
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
behavioural
behaviours
 norms
,
Accept space
,
they are less likely to focus on key disciplines. . Schools can impart some important virtues
into
Suggestion
in
 students, and encourage them to make good use of their knowledge to contribute
positively society
Suggestion
positively to society
. If one
understand
Suggestion
understands
 the value of loyalty
,
Accept space
,
 he or she will not sell confidential documents of his or her employer to other companies.
In addition
Linking Words
, students spent
longer period
Suggestion
a longer period
longer periods
 of time in
school
Use synonyms
 than
they
objective case of they
them
 at home, so what
teacher
Use synonyms
 and their classmate do actually easier impact
student
Use synonyms
’s
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
,
such
Linking Words
 as
bully
Suggestion
bullies
a bully
, if
teacher
Use synonyms
 no teach their
student
Use synonyms
 it wrong thing to do,
Use synonyms
student
Suggestion
the student
students
 may seen
bully
Suggestion
a bully
the bully
 as normal
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 in
school
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most of the students find their teachers as their role model. So the students accept the instructions of their professors’ than anyone else In my opinion, students cannot be successful if they are not able to distinguish right and wrong.
Use synonyms
Student
Suggestion
The student
 should learn how to respect
Use synonyms
teacher
Suggestion
the teacher
teachers
 and get along well
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by chenshiyan233 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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