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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #teachers #development #students #parents
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Nowadays, children’s development in their educational phase is becoming a main concern in
societyThe
Suggestion
society The
 development of children in their educational phase is significantly important
.
Accept space
.
 Both teachers and parents share the important roles to help the children develop, especially their interpersonal and cognitive skills.
However
Linking Words
, due to the amount of effective
time
Use synonyms
 effectiveness that children spent by
childrend
a young person of either sex
children
 in their daily life and substantive knowledge that they mostly gain get
in
Suggestion
into
 the
school
Use synonyms
, I totally agree that teachers play much more important roles to perform and educate children to
develloip
make something new, such as a product or a mental or artistic creation
develop
 their social
interaction
Use synonyms
 and academic life. Fundamentally, children are likely considered to spend more effective times in the
school
Use synonyms
 rather than at home.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 is suggested
towill
Suggestion
to will
 provide children with the experience to build their social
interaction
Use synonyms
 with their teachers and friends.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the activity in the
Use synonyms
school which
Accept comma addition
school, which
 is provided by the teacher
exertings
put to use
exerts
exerting
 more interactions among the class.
For instance
Linking Words
, teachers can give the peer-assignment that require expect students to work and to collaborate with their peers.
This
Linking Words
 kind of activity is believed as one of the stimulations for the children to learn how to work in a group and consult
to
Suggestion
with
 each others in order to overcome the problem that they face together.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 activity will lead to an intense
interaction
Use synonyms
 among them, and it hardly happens at home due to the fact that the small amount of
time
Use synonyms
 and
oopportunity
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunity
opportunities
 that children can use
to
Suggestion
for
interaction
Use synonyms
 with many people.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 teachers
providimpart
Suggestion
e
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
be
 more
subjece
the subject matter of a conversation or discussion
subject
ts
fasten or secure with a rope, string, or cord
ties
teas
this
 that substantively will boost the knowledge of the children. The subjects are projected as the constructive feedback which
importantly excercise
Accept comma addition
importantly, exercise
importantly exercise
 more challenging tasks and
activitiesy
any specific behavior
activities
activities y
 that will stimulate the children's brain to be more developed.
For example
Linking Words
, a language subject,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Accept space
,
like English or other any foreign language sis
are
Suggestion
is
 the subject that requires much effort to master.
Languageae
Suggestion
Language
 teachers should help the students by providing them the experiences on how they should study, learn, and acquire
such
Linking Words
 language skills. They
also
Linking Words
 can
challengene
take exception to
challenge
challenge ne
 their children to speak in different languages which is presumably
difficult hard
Accept comma addition
difficult, hard
 for them if they
doare
Suggestion
do are
 not regularly
usedoing
Suggestion
use doing
 and
practiceing
a customary way of operation or behavior
practicing
practising
 it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if the children are steadily exposed by
thesehis
Suggestion
these his
 various
activitiesy
any specific behavior
activities
activities y
,
time
Use synonyms
 by
time
Use synonyms
 their cognitive ability and skills will widely expand. At the same
time
Use synonyms
,,
Suggestion
,
 while the disparity will be more likely happen if the students are handled only by their parents at home. As the summary, the development
period especially
Accept comma addition
period, especially
 the student's social and intellectual ability need to be handled carefully by someone who has more experience and is an expert in
this
Linking Words
 field. Teachers are expectedly shoulder more responsibilities to educate the students, but it
doesis
Suggestion
does is
 not
neccessarily
in such a manner as could not be otherwise
necessarily
meands
how a result is obtained or an end is achieved
means
 parents lose their proportion in nurturing their children as one of the most important aspects in children's life.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nuances
  • responsibility
  • intellectual development
  • social development
  • structured learning environment
  • curriculum
  • diverse interactions
  • group activities
  • conflict resolution
  • foundational impact
  • core values
  • beliefs
  • attitudes
  • nurturing
  • joint responsibility
  • collaboration
  • continuous dialogue
  • distinct roles
  • underestimate
What to do next:
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