IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

New technology have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #children #time
Researches and development have greatly improved on new
technologies and changes the
Suggestion
technologies and changes in the
 ways teenagers spend their free
time
,
however there
Accept comma addition
however, there
 are many advantages and disadvantages
as a result
 of the new and emerging technologies. These advantages have an up hand as against the disadvantages.
This
 essay will show the superiority of the advantages against the disadvantages of new technologies on the way and manners
youth
 spend their free
time
. Information is very important and more importantly is the free or easy access to information. Without the right information
youth
 would hardly make any headway in learning new skills and new technologies. Before the advent of new technologies
youths especially
Accept comma addition
youths, especially
 student
find
Suggestion
finds
 it difficult to get access to materials for their studies and project work, they will only really depend on the limited and outdated books in the library, but with the advent of the
technology
 called
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
; getting the right information is just by the click of the button, fast reliable and affordable. Youths are more creative and could be self-taught as they can easily learn new skills ranging from photography, photo editing, music production, programming etc.
to
Suggestion
To
 mention but a few. These have helped to put
kids
Suggestion
the kids
 away from violence, drugs and troubles.
However
, there could be some disadvantages arising from the inappropriate use of the new technologies, as the increase of social media have made many youths to be lazy, as they spent more of their
time
 chatting away with friends on things that are irrelevant and do them little or no good, some have even taken to crime and fraud all because of the wrong exposure they get from the use of advance technologies. Despite the downside, the disadvantages cannot be compared with the advantages derived from the used of new
technology
, as it has empowered many more
youth
, as so many are now
enteprenun
 as they have learnt some valuable skills using
technology
 and have been able to create a brand and
do
engage in
make
 profitable businesses. In conclusion, the advent of new technologies have done
more good
Suggestion
better
 than arms, if the right polies and controls are put in place to control the uses of these technologies in no distance
time
 the negative effect on
youth
 from the use of new
technology
 will be a forgotten issue.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: