IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Nowadays newspapers publish information about private lives of individuals. Some people think the government should maintain certain control over the information that gets published, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#newspapers #information #lives #individuals #people #government #control
Nowadays, individual privacies are often published by newspapers and protecting personal
information
 is a heated topic.
Therefore
, some people think the government should provide certain policies to control
this
 phenomenon, but others hold an opposite opinion. I would like to explore both sides thoroughly
first
. On the one hand, some people’s personal data should be published,
such
 as criminals and government officials, because their behaviours could influence the safety and stability of society. Fist of all, release the vital
information
 of convicts on the urn can help the police to catch them. Only when the lawbreaker is arrested can justice be maintained and social security guaranteed.
Besides
, political leaders’ behaviours could influence regional or even national stability.
Therefore
, reporting their certain key
information
 and activities is beneficial to supervise by the public, which could restrict the abusing of their power.
On the other hand
, it is immoral for the media to report citizens’ personal life and privacy for the sake of interest, which is against their privacy right.
For example
, there are many innocent people who fall victim to the profits of the media, which report a lot of their unique and harmless activities, because these amusement topics would attract a large number of readers.
However
, at the same time, victims and their families might under enormous public pressures. No one like to be judged on their personal life all the time. If newspapers publish
this
 type of
information
 frequently, everyone would worry about themselves will be a title on the paper one day. In conclusion, I think the government should provide polices to control the media a part of reports of individuals’ personal
information
,
otherwise
, it would against the many innocent citizens’ benefits.
Submitted by maxchong1984 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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