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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say the main way to be happy is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

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It is believed by a number of individuals that being wealthy is the principal way to happiness. Having a
lot
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 of
money
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 could make people happy because
money
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 could solve a
lot
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 of problems. Other things that can bring happiness to people is good
health
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 and peace of mind. Being wealthy brings joy to some people in
life
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 because they believe
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money
Suggestion
the money
 can solve a
lot
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 of problems and make
life
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 easier for them. Challenges and difficulties in
life
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 makes people vulnerable and subject them to a sad mood but realising that the
money
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 they have can solve the problems light them up.
For example
Linking Words
, my brother who was out of
job
Suggestion
a job
 for a long time,
finally
Linking Words
 was able to secure one recently, the joy he had was immeasurable, knowing that the his pay could care for most of his needs.
Therefore
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, having a
lot
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 of
money
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 makes people happy because it solves
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 of their challenges
such
Linking Words
 as lack and wants.
Also
Linking Words
, good
health
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 and peace of mind can make people happy because they are not under stress. It can
also
Linking Words
 be a result of previous experiences which they have had in the past.
For example
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, a friend of mine who was wrongly diagnosed
of
Suggestion
with
 hypertension due to faulty equipments was repeatedly sad and moody for a period of time until she summoned the courage to go for the test again and was proved
otherwise
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. She has been happier, full of
life
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 and at peace since
then
Linking Words
.
Linking Words
Therefore good
Accept comma addition
Therefore, good
health
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 can be a form of happiness to people. In conclusion, both
wealthy
Suggestion
wealth
 and good
health
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 can bring joy to people because there are different strokes for different folks. It could be a good
health
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 for some, I could be having a
lot
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 of
money
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 for others.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial stability
  • Security
  • Freedom
  • Pursue dreams and goals
  • Emergency funds
  • Experiences
  • Enjoyment
  • Quality of life
  • Improving
  • Purchases
  • Supporting
  • Economy
  • Creating jobs
  • Balance
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