IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Due to the rapid development and expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #businesses #people #closure #death #communities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It’s true that the retail market penetration is better with supermarkets and they do not even allow the local shops to compete with them. I believe, in the near future, we will miss the traditional touch of local communities in our everyday commodities.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Customer acquisition plays a vital role in the development of a growing
business
Use synonyms
. Goods and services reach is more efficient for supermarkets compared to local shops through discounts and offers. Cashbacks, digital order placements and free home delivery are very impactful
business
Use synonyms
 strategies which are able to attract all segments of the society,
however
Linking Words
 local shops fail to do so. They ensure the entire experience of the buyer is seamless while enjoying offers. Many supermarkets,
such
Linking Words
 as Nilgiris, Godrej Naturals, M.K.Ahmed, the
freshco
a mural done with watercolors on wet plaster
fresco
 has invested in advanced technologies and have expanded across the country.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, local shops are left behind in
this
Linking Words
 growth path of market penetration because of their lack of versatility. The local shops have limited quantity and variety of products. Lack of
business
Use synonyms
 strategy and expansion mindset, upselling and cross selling is not viable for local shops.
Hence
Linking Words
, in another decade, the local shops will be completely disappear and we will not have access to traditionally made goods. And with no
business
Use synonyms
 in hand, local communities will migrate in search of other businesses or jobs.
Thus
Linking Words
, I believe, with limited variety and lack of
business
Use synonyms
 strategy and growth plan, it will be really tough for local shops to continue growing their
business
Use synonyms
 and sustaining the local communities.
Submitted by sudeep on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapid expansion
  • compete
  • closure
  • death
  • local communities
  • wider range of products
  • convenience
  • unique character
  • personalized customer service
  • unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • traditional skills
  • craftsmanship
  • support
  • local economy
  • decline
  • community spirit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: