Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
day
and age
, many individuals think that schools should be joined in by early-age
children
. However
, other parents
argue that they only should start school
at an older age
. Both views are justifiable experiences of children
when they are overwhelming young bringing more benefits for both their physical and mental health.
One key argument is that there are some advantages for children
when they do not start school
at an early age
and stay at home with their parents
. There is no doubt that young children
will enjoy totally the nature surrounding them. However
, they have a variety of chances to experience wildlife or new inhabitants to improve their adaptability in all environments. The children
can spend their time taking part in some outdoor activities to set up their fundamental skills. Take Denmark as a specific example for this
statement, there are a lot of areas which prioritize young children
having busy parents
to participate in to experience all kinds of activities. Children
have more opportunities to play outside their houses for around half a day
because their parents
believe that this
activity can help them to improve survival and fundamental skills quickly and they also
achieve natural knowledge day
by day
. Thus
, children
should not go to school
at an early age
due to
natural growth.
Conversely
, it is recommended that children
have to go to school
at a young age
to learn more useful and valuable lessons from their professional teachers. In light of this
, when children
enrol in school
as soon as they are possible, they can theoretically act in all circumstances and they have enough knowledge about their fields. Moreover
, children
avoid so many failures throughout their lives because they learn carefully some methods that need various basic necessities. It is clearly evident that in Japan, children
have to be taken to school
by their parents
at too early age
. Because their parents
strongly believe that their children
can gain more theory and experiences throughout their schools and avoid some failures and danger in their fullest life. They also
support their children
to study more manufacturing knowledge in the near future.
From my personal experiences, I particularly think that the connected relationships between children
at a young age
and their parents
play a crucial role in each person's life. It is considered that children
do not start school
early, they take more time to live with their parents
at their home. Furthermore
, they also
gather their families to inspire and share their awareness or thinking about their areas. Besides
, they bridge the gap in all generations and build more inseparable rapport with their parents
. Hence
. their family bonds are more and more linked when they go to school
at an older age
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introduction conclusion
Work on refining the introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful and clear. State your stance clearly in the introduction and summarize key points effectively in the conclusion.
logical structure
Improve coherence and cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help in making the essay flow better and connect ideas more smoothly.
supported main points
Strengthen your main points with more specific and relevant examples. Although you provided some examples, such as those from Denmark and Japan, more detail would enhance your arguments and make them more persuasive.
complete response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument comprehensively, and you offer a balanced discussion that includes relevant points for both perspectives.
relevant specific examples
You provide relevant examples to support your arguments, which demonstrates your ability to integrate real-world situations into your essay. This enhances your overall argument and adds depth to your discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay reflects clear and comprehensive ideas, showing that you have thought carefully about the topic and are able to articulate your thoughts effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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