Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

#schools #students #health

Educational institutions must put extra efforts to educate their pupil about healthy habits and fitness. I completely agree with

this

statement.

This

essay will explain two fundamental activities that schools, who want their students to be healthier, can adopt and practice.

Firstly

, education organisations should organise frequent

health

campaigns, which can explain about human body anatomy and how and why different body parts are prone to various diseases.

This

can promote awareness among students, and they may become more

health

conscious thereby may

also

prevent themselves from various

disease

Suggestion

diseases

Moreover

, they could

also

identify symptoms of ailments at early stages.

For instance

, in an experiment conducted by WHO on eye visibility of young children, it is proved that schools, who had regular eye inspections, rendered 95% of students with perfect eyesight,

on the contrary

, schools who did not conduct

such

activity comprised only 60% of

pupil

(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively

people

with better eye visibility. Another element that institutes can adopt is nutrition and diet classes.

This

would help youngsters to understand how food habits contribute towards leading a healthy life. Maintaining

balanced diet

Suggestion

a balanced diet

is the key to fitness, which is evident in the form of fit body and great physique.

For example

: Japanese academic curriculum constitutes nutrition and diet as a mandatory subject in order to yield healthy future citizens, who are crucial elements for the development of the country.

Hence

disease

Suggestion

a disease

like obesity, diabetes

are scarcely found

Suggestion

is scarcely found

this

region.

Furthermore

, men and women in japan carry

attractive physique

Suggestion

an attractive physique

due to their healthy etiquette. In conclusion, in order to produce healthy population

health

education is an essential factor, and schools play a prominent role in impacting

health

Suggestion

the health

of a nation provided they conduct fitness promotions and trainings.

Therefore educational

Accept comma addition

Therefore, educational

institutions should focus more on

health

sciences.

Sun Aug 18 2019

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think financial aid from international organizations is important for developing countries. Others believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that international trade and communication with other countries is a positive trend, while others think it is harmful to nations and they might lose their identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The most important aim of science should be to improve peoples lives

Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted to do. To what extent do you agree or not?