Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

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Educational institutions must put extra efforts to educate their pupil about healthy habits and fitness. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain two fundamental activities that schools, who want their students to be healthier, can adopt and practice.

Firstly

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, education organisations should organise frequent

health

Use synonyms

campaigns, which can explain about human body anatomy and how and why different body parts are prone to various diseases.

This

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can promote awareness among students, and they may become more

health

Use synonyms

conscious thereby may

also

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prevent themselves from various

disease

Suggestion

diseases

Moreover

Linking Words

, they could

also

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identify symptoms of ailments at early stages.

For instance

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, in an experiment conducted by WHO on eye visibility of young children, it is proved that schools, who had regular eye inspections, rendered 95% of students with perfect eyesight,

on the contrary

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, schools who did not conduct

such

Linking Words

activity comprised only 60% of

pupil

(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively

people

with better eye visibility. Another element that institutes can adopt is nutrition and diet classes.

This

Linking Words

would help youngsters to understand how food habits contribute towards leading a healthy life. Maintaining

balanced diet

Suggestion

a balanced diet

is the key to fitness, which is evident in the form of fit body and great physique.

For example

Linking Words

: Japanese academic curriculum constitutes nutrition and diet as a mandatory subject in order to yield healthy future citizens, who are crucial elements for the development of the country.

Hence

Linking Words

disease

Suggestion

a disease

like obesity, diabetes

are scarcely found

Suggestion

is scarcely found

this

Linking Words

region.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, men and women in japan carry

attractive physique

Suggestion

an attractive physique

due to their healthy etiquette. In conclusion, in order to produce healthy population

health

Use synonyms

education is an essential factor, and schools play a prominent role in impacting

Use synonyms

health

Suggestion

the health

of a nation provided they conduct fitness promotions and trainings.

Linking Words

Therefore educational

Accept comma addition

Therefore, educational

institutions should focus more on

health

Use synonyms

sciences.

Sun Aug 18 2019

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

In the future, it will be harder to live on Earth than before, because it believed that people think they should spend money for researching another planet where they move on, such as Mars. I totally disagree with this opinion

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?