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Band 8

Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems.Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #crimes #circumstances #poverty #nature
Nowadays,crimes are one of the most common issues in the 21st century. It has been argued by a multitude of individuals that crimes occur
as a result
 of living in pennilessness and social problems,
while
 others believe that it is connected with the nature of personality. Personally, I think that crime is a combination and integration of different circumstances and I will explain them in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, not every human being in society has equal opportunities, social status and currency.
Moreover
, everyone has different occupations and wages and
due to
 the lack of money, they are going to do different types of misdemeanours.
For instance
, if it is a woman with a multitude of children, and she cannot find appropriate nourishment for her child she will do shoplifting in order to feed them.
On the other hand
,illegal acts might be ramifications of life-threatening health issues, like changes in genes, that occur like hereditary components of an individual's personality and behaviour in society. As a medical student, I can undoubtedly notice that specific genetic aberrations, namely CDH13 and MAOA lead to antisocial and criminal behaviour.
Subsequently
, the likelihood of higher levels of aggression and criminal behaviour amplifies the predisposition for dangerous and illegal actions.
To sum up
, there are versatile and multifaceted circumstances of crime appearance.
Although
 some individuals are incarcerated because of particular maladies, crimes are mostly committed
as a result
 of the amalgamation of aforementioned reasons like poverty and changes in the nature and nurture of human beings.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Include more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Expand on each point a bit more to fully develop your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor language errors to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate more transition words to create smoother flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically organized and well-supported.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt well and offers a balanced view.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples to illustrate key points.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic circumstances
  • poverty
  • lack of education
  • unemployment
  • illegal activities
  • desperation
  • social issues
  • exposure to violence
  • family structures
  • inherent
  • personality traits
  • lack of empathy
  • aggression
  • predilection for risk-taking
  • affluent backgrounds
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