IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people tell that to reduce the traffic and pollution, government should increase the tax on the petrol. Would there be more benefits than the drawback?

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It is undoubtedly that the accelerating rate of
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam and contamination has ushered in some pressing concern for society as a whole. While I agree that raising tariffs on the price of fuel can be a possible method of discouraging drivers, I would argue that other effective and measures should be implemented simultaneously. On the one hand, increasing tax on petrol has its own distinctive merits in slashing pollutant and
traffic
Use synonyms
 incidence. The
first
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 reason is that
oil
Use synonyms
 pricing through taxation leaves consumers to determine how best to reduce their cost. As an illustration, people will choose public transportation
such
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 as buses or trains to commute
instead
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 of using their vehicles and thereby, the
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion will be improved.
In addition
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, applying tariff on the price of fuel will decline the demand of
oil
Use synonyms
, which would help to preserve the environment. Because most of vehicles run on fossil fuel that discharges pollutants into the atmosphere, so if the government does not take steps to restrict the use of
oil
Use synonyms
, it would increase the greenhouse effect and lead to environmental contamination.
On the other hand
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, as it may seem, putting more tariff on
oil
Use synonyms
 solely cannot effectively curb the alarming contaminant and
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam.
Consequently
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, other measures should
also
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 be taken into consideration. One resolution is to offer programs to raise the public awareness of low-carbon.
For instance
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, the government should encourage citizens to exploit renewable energies
such
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 as wind, hydro and solar power in order to enhance air condition.
Additionally
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, the state should give top priority to invest in developing fuel-effective
car
the work of providing treatment for or attending to someone or something
care
 and infrastructure of public transit.
As a result
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, thanks to the development of environment-friendly products,
oil
Use synonyms
 as well as individual vehicles will be reduced, contributing to the environmental protection. In conclusion,
although
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 I concur with the positive of raising taxes on the price of petrol for the reduction of pollution and congestion, I would believe that other plausible and productive approaches should be employed as well.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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