IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education #job
Some people believe that providing better
education
 opportunities and
job
 training should replace prison sentences in combating
crime
. Personally, I think
this
 is a one- sided point of view and
therefore
 disagree with it. There are a number of compelling reasons why it is unreasonable to consider imprisonment to be an obsolete practice. Prison sentences serve as one of the embodiments of justice and fairness in society. When a person commits an unlawful act, be it a
misdemeanor
a crime less serious than a felony
misdemeanour
 or a felony, there should be punishments or else society would fall into chaos.
Furthermore
, prisons are not only a physical place that keeps criminals contained to protect innocent
people but
Accept comma addition
people, but
also
 a reminder of the consequences of violating the law.
Although
 better
education
 and
job
 training can enhance a person’s awareness and
employabilitythat
Suggestion
employability that
 will, in theory, reduce
crime
, they cannot eliminate all the elements that induce a person to become a criminal. In fact, there have been many heinous crimes committed by well-educated people,
for example
 the infamous sexual assault on a Vietnamese child in Japan. It is naive to expect everyone to follow the law just because they are provided with better
education
 and
job
 skills. We cannot disregard the fact that some people are morally bad by nature and some people who are psychologically unstable may show a propensity for
crime
. In conclusion, better
education
 and
job
 training are not the ultimate answer to
crime
, nor can they replace prison sentences in
this
 regard. It is the combination of both measures that can truly make a difference in the fight against
crime
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: