IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

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The problem of ever-growing
population
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 has stroked as a global issue encountered by today’s generation. The main reasons for
this
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 rapid
growth
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 are mainly due to an ineffective
population
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control
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 measures and advancement in the healthcare system.
This
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 essay agrees that the steady rise of
population
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 is the major threat to mankind in
this
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 era because of its greatest impact on the environment and the wellbeing of the human beings.
Population
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growth
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 is reciprocal to the effectiveness of
birth
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control
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 methods like family planning and adequate knowledge on reproductive health. An increase in effectiveness of
control
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 measures lowers the
birth
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 rates. There are many cases of failure of
such
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 measures leading to unwanted pregnancies resulted from improper usage.
In addition
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, newly invented technologies in the healthcare system have increased the life span of human beings resulting in decrease
birth
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 rates.
For instance
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, many women prefer to use temporary
birth
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control
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 measures like
birth
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control
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 pills which are easy to use, but less efficient and that result in increased
birth
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 rates and available treatments for many fatal diseases like cancer, myocardial infraction results in increase life span. In recent times, the greatest issue for humankind is the detrimental effect of rapid
population
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growth
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 on the environment and health. The environment is greatly destroyed by the human activities. An increased
population
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 demands for increase housing, employments and productions that resulted in the destruction of greenery and fertile lands turned to be industrial areas that in turn lead to pollutions and various health issues.
In particular
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, air pollution is the most common problems caused by human activities that lead to many respiratory problems of mankind. In conclusion, a rapid
population
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growth
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 is a serious problem resulted from inefficient
population
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control
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 measures and limited knowledge on controlling as well as improvements in healthcare facility leading to a longer life span. The subsequent impacts of
this
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 rapid
growth
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on
Suggestion
of
in
 human beings are becoming serious due to irreversible damage to
ecosystem
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the ecosystem
ecosystems
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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