IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

1.Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The bar graphs represent the
number
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 of
tourists
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 visiting two cities in 2012. The numbers are demonstrated on the x-axis
while
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 the
months
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 are shown on the y-axis. In general, it can be observed that both the graphs show similar trends throughout the year where the
number
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 of visitors
peak
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peaks
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 in the
months
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 of July and August.
On the contrary
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,
least
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the least
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number
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 of
tourists
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 were recorded in
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months
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the months
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 of January and February for both Seattle and
the
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apply
show examples
Niagara Falls. The month of December shows a contrasting trend where the
number
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 goes down in Seattle but shoots up for
the
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apply
show examples
Niagara Falls. An in-depth analysis of the graph of Seattle reveals that the
number
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 of
tourists
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 visiting the city grows gradually from
January-April
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January to April
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, reaching 500,000.
After
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this
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 point, there is a significant rise in the
number
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 where
it
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apply
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increases
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 by 500,000 each month till July reaching a whopping 2
million
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. After staying constant in August, the figure starts declining - steadily in September but tremendously in October - eventually closing at about 250,000 in December which is almost similar to the figure recorded in January.
Similar
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Similarly
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to
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apply
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Correct pronoun usage
apply
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this
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
tourists
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 visiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Niagara Falls in 2012
doubles
Wrong verb form
doubled
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 in the month of March
where
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when
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 it touches the 1
million
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 mark. After a jump of about a
million
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 in April, the following
months
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 show a constant increase. July and August are the most favoured
months
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 peaking at about 4
million
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 visitors. After
dramatic
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a dramatic
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 fall in September and October, the
number
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 steadies at 500,000 in November before shooting up again in December, reaching 2.5
million
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clearer introduction that outlines the main trends and comparisons to guide the reader more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Add a brief conclusion summarizing the key differences and similarities between the two cities to round off the essay.
task achievement
Be careful with tense consistency; for example, use past tense when referring to data from 2012 consistently.
task achievement
The essay presents a variety of data points and comparisons, enhancing the overall clarity of the descriptions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • quality of life
  • noise levels
  • stress
  • disturb sleep
  • imposing legal restrictions
  • peaceful living environment
  • tolerance levels
  • personal freedom
  • business operations
  • designated quiet zones
  • commercial and industrial zones
  • urban areas
  • public awareness campaigns
What to do next:
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