You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation. Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you are going to do work experience. In your letter -Thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience -Explain what you hope to learn from the work experience -Ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do

#three #months #work #organisation #manager #-thank #opportunity #-explain #hope #-ask #questions

Dear Mr.Bank I am writing

this

letter to express my appreciation for the opportunity to join your company to do the internship program. I feel extremely lucky to have

this

chance to do my internship in your firm. Working for your organization during the coming three months not only helps me gain more work experience but

also

offers me an opportunity to apply what I learnt at university to real work. I heard from my classmates who did

this

internship with your firm

last

year that they were given a wide range of tasks regarding doing research about the stock markets, which is not something that I am passionate about. I am expecting to be a part of the trading team, doing stock trading every day, which can improve my practical skills. I have a couple of queries regarding

this

program. I wonder if you are able to inform me whether it will be provided free of charge.

However

, if it is not, how much the cost would be every day?

Additionally

, I would like to know whether I need to bring my own laptop. Thank you again for the valuable opportunity. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Isabella Liu

Submitted by strawberry.guan on Fri May 03 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

The letter is well-organized with clear paragraphs, each paragraph discussing a different aspect of the enquiry. To further enhance coherence, consider using more linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly.

Task Achievement

You have clearly expressed gratitude, stated expectations, and posed relevant questions regarding the work experience. To improve task response, ensure all questions are fully developed and directly related to your upcoming work experience for even greater clarity and completeness.

Task Achievement

The letter successfully addresses all three aspects of the task with appropriate detail.

Coherence and Cohesion

The use of paragraphs to organize different points, with a clear opening and closing, is commendable.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

204 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work fro home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?