IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion?

#prison #place #criminals
Although
 some individuals are of the opinion that offenders would be reprimanded in prisons, others think that more effective ways are available to correct them. In my opinion, I believe that involvement in
community
 service, and rehabilitation are better ways to deal with prisoners. On the one hand, supporters of the view that prisons are more appropriate believe so because of the presence of other criminals.
In other words
, learning from sanctions meted out to other offenders will serve as a deterrent towards committing other crimes.
For example
, an offender who witnesses the execution of a fellow inmate will learn to avoid crimes or violence if ever released from prison.
Furthermore
, they
also
 believe that it serves as a means of protecting the society from these criminals.
This
 means that victims will be less terrified when offenders are placed in prisons.
However
, I am of the opinion that more beneficial ways exist to aid correction of an offender.
Firstly
, many criminals can be subjected to
community
 service where they are made to contribute greatly to the development of a
community
 through activities
such
 as cleaning, gardening, helping out in nursing homes etc.
As a result
, they are able to recognise their usefulness to the society.
In addition
, some can be sent to rehabilitation centres where they are made to learn and recognise the effects of crimes committed, and how to live a better life before re-integration into the society. In conclusion, I consider involvement in
community
 activities and rehabilitation better ways to deal with criminals.
Submitted by wandeadegeye on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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