IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is the case? What can governments do to help the amount of rubbish produced?

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It is often said that there has been an increasing
amount
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 of garbage created by human beings.
This
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 essay will examine the two main reasons for
this
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 issue and what
governments
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 should do to reduce the
amount
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 of garbage. One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 for an increasing
amount
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 of
rubbish
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 is
an
Correct article usage
the
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 excessive
use
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 of rapping layers. To illustrate, when I bought a music CD on an online shopping service in Japan, it was
rapped
Correct your spelling
wrapped
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by
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in
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 a
plastic
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 film, stabilized on board by another
plastic
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 film, and
then
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, delivered in a box. Though the product was meant to be delivered safely,
this
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 apparently too many uses of rapping materials. The other main factor that drives the issue is the
plastic
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bag
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bags
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that
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is
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are
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 given in supermarkets and convenience stores. In the case of Japan,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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plastic
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 bag is provided
with
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to
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 every customer
however
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 little the purchase is, so thousands of
plastic
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bags
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 are widely consumed. Turning to the possible solutions, in order to deal with the rapping issue,
governments
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 should encourage companies to
use
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 recyclable materials, so that they will not stay in the environment as
rubbish
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.
Also
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, it would be effective to provide financial support
with
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to
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 companies that attempt to install
such
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 materials.
In addition
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,
governments
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 need to encourage customers to
use
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 reusable
bags
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 for their shopping, so the
use
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 of
plastic
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bags
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 will decrease.
Moreover
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, if
bags
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 that are made of
a
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apply
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recyclable material are invented or introduced by
governments
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, the economic activity will be even more environmentally friendly. In conclusion, I believe there are two factors that mainly cause the increasing
amount
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 of
rubbish
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, which are
an
Correct article usage
the
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 excessive
use
Use synonyms
 of rapping and
plastic
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bags
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.
Also
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, in order for
governments
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 to reduce the
amount
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 of
rubbish
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, they should promote recyclable material
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 packaging and encourage consumers to
use
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 reusable
bags
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.

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task response
The introduction clearly states the topic and purpose of the essay, but consider rephrasing to enhance readability. Avoid phrases like 'this issue' without specific identification.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are quite long; try breaking them up to improve clarity. Ensure that each paragraph focuses specifically on one main idea and develops it fully.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing government's roles, you might include examples from countries that have effectively reduced plastic use.
task response
The essay adequately identifies the problem and proposes solutions, which makes it relevant to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay, providing a clear end to the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • single-use products
  • landfills
  • recycling programs
  • sustainability
  • non-recyclable materials
  • throwaway culture
  • upgrading
  • advertising
  • packaging materials
  • convenience-oriented lifestyles
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • waste management policies
  • population growth
  • electronic waste (e-waste)
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