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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Being a celebrity – such as a famous film star or sport personality – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sport #personality
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It is obvious that being a famous icon in a particular society by
engage
Suggestion
engaging
 in films or sports,
consequently
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 brings
them
of them or themselves
their
 advantages and drawbacks. I believe that benefits of being a
celebrity
Use synonyms
 outweighs
disadvantages
Suggestion
disadvantage
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss about financial success, specialize treatments from the public and the top level
security
Use synonyms
 as
main advantages
Suggestion
the main advantages
 of being a
celebrity
Use synonyms
. Sport and film industry can be identified as a lucrative business,
through out
all the way through
throughout
 the world.
Essentially by
Accept comma addition
Essentially, by
 being a films star or sport personal, they have the ability to earn thousands of dollars. By being a rich person they can achieve
what ever
one or some or every or all without specification
whatever
 they want. As an example American actor called Matt Leblanc started his acting
carrier
the particular occupation for which you are trained
career
 by having just only 11 dollars in his bank account.
Linking Words
However after
Accept comma addition
However, after
 10 years of hard work, now he managed to earn 1.5 billion dollars a year
,
Suggestion
, moreover, now
moreover
Linking Words
 now he is a proud owner of a 150 acres of land in Texas.
Linking Words
Finally it
Accept comma addition
Finally, it
 is clear that, good money is a major advantage of being a
celebrity
Use synonyms
 In most of the circumstances, famous people are fortunate enough to experience the prestige of their fans. Regular individuals always try to be respectful, in front of their loving celebrities. Through
this
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 vast social acceptance
,
Accept space
,
popular people receive many opportunities. As an example, free entrances for popular events and most frequently they can have so
much
Suggestion
many
 things for free. It can be clearly observed that the popularity among
public
Suggestion
the public
 is another strong benefit of being a
celebrity
Use synonyms
. As a positive consequence of being rich, celebrities have the opportunity to get unique
security
Use synonyms
 services. It is obvious that regular public
do not have
Suggestion
does not have
 a proper
security
Use synonyms
 measures, except the basic
security
Use synonyms
 from the
goverment
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
. Despite, celebrities have the financial ability to uplift their own
security
Use synonyms
. For an
instance one
Accept comma addition
instance, one
 of the
english
an Indo-European language belonging to the West Germanic branch; the official language of Britain and the United States and most of the commonwealth countries
English
actor
Suggestion
actors
 in
UK
Suggestion
the UK
 has his own sniper
security
Use synonyms
 team to secure him specially from suicide bombers.
Linking Words
Further more
in addition
Furthermore
, these
safet y
the state of being certain that adverse effects will not be caused by some agent under defined conditions
safety
 measures definitely will help to tackle those protection issues. It is crystal clear that celebrities have the benefit of a proper high level
security
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, we can notice that celebrities have the chance to earn lots of money, win people’s heart and tackle their
security
Use synonyms
 threads.
Linking Words
Further more
in addition
Furthermore
, those advantages are more powerful than possible drawbacks.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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