At the present time,the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people

#time #population #countries #adults #people

In the past

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nations

have

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had

more of aged

people but

Accept comma addition

people, but

nowadays

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countries have more of

younger people

Suggestion

the younger people

in comparison to aged people.In my opinion

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I think there are more benefits to

this

view than

drawback

Suggestion

a drawback

drawbacks

It is certainly true that there are advantages to having youngsters than older people.

first

preceding all others in time or space or degree

First

of all

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in terms of job

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they are more energetic compared to people of higher aged group

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because they are still young and have more strength

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secondly

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they are more

opened

Suggestion

open

to learning and discovering

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unlike the aged ones

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youngsters cope better with changes and technology There

are

Suggestion

also

negative aspect

Suggestion

a negative aspect

Suggestion

this

view.

having

Suggestion

Having

more of younger adult in a nation has its one drawback.aged people have more experience than d younger age,they work better because of their knowledge about some certain things that can benefit a country,

also

,they are more patient and serious about their work,because they have lesser activities aside from work compared wt middle aged people who engages in several activities in today's world In conclusion,there is no doubt that younger people dominate a nation more than aged people,and in my opinion,I think there are more benefits to

this

view than disadvantage

Submitted by emecholoveth on Sat Aug 24 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

183 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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At the present time,the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?

Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear uniform. Think about jobs where uniform is important. What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform?

Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay their own tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?