IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

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Several studies have reported that people nowadays see
advertisements
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 more often than in the past.
This
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 increase is
due to
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 the significant rise in competition among companies. From my point of view,
advertisements
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 moderately influence
consumers
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 in making their purchasing decisions.
Moreover
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, I believe that some approaches can be applied to mitigate the negative effects of
advertisements
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.
To begin
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 with the moderate influence of
advertisements
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, it is evident that
consumers
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 today do not believe every piece of information provided by
advertisements
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 higher levels of education and the free discussions on social media platforms about the quality of products or services.
For example
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, after watching
advertisements
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, most
consumers
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 do not immediately decide to believe and buy those goods.
Instead
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, they wait for online influencers to use and share their experiences
first,
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followed by reading the comments discussed by others.
Thus
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,
consumers
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 are moderately influenced by
advertisements
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, particularly in terms of gaining their attention but not making them completely believe.
Although
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 people have higher critical thinking towards advertising, the government should establish regulations on advertising.
For instance
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, if
any
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an
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 advertisement does not follow scientific or medical reports, it should be banned.
Additionally
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, if any company wants to claim their product’s quality in advertising, it should be standardized and examined by well-known institutes first.
Therefore
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,
consumers
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 are protected from exaggerated claims and still safeguarded by the laws. In conclusion,
advertisements
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 do not completely influence
consumers
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’ decisions. Most of them still search for information about products or services via online platforms.
However
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,
advertisements
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 should be regulated and comply with government laws to protect
consumers
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.

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task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the task, it would be beneficial to delve deeper into how the influence of advertisements may vary among different demographics or types of advertising. This would have strengthened your argument. Adding more specific examples, such as referencing real-life cases or studies, can enhance your essay by making it more concrete and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To further improve the essay's coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. This can be achieved by using more transitional phrases and linking sentences that serve as bridges between different points. You might also consider expanding slightly on the main points to add more depth and detail.
structure
You have a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the essay’s main points.
structure
The essay maintains a logical flow from the introduction to the conclusion. This helps in maintaining the reader's interest and ensures that the argument is easy to follow.
support
Your use of examples such as online influencers adds relevance and helps to illustrate your points. This makes your arguments more clear and relatable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertising campaign
  • celebrity endorsement
  • psychological manipulation
  • emotional appeal
  • targeted advertisement
  • digital marketing
  • social proof
  • peer review
  • consumer trust
  • brand loyalty
  • misleading advertisement
  • government regulation
  • consumer protection
  • media literacy
  • ad-blocker
  • privacy settings
  • informed choice
  • critical thinking
  • marketing tactics
  • consumer awareness
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