IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

#cars
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Using cars has become increasingly common in recent years.
Although
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 I think that it maintains some obvious harmful consequences, I strongly believe that the advantages of the
car
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 can outweigh its advantages. On the one hand, owning cars has a significant influence on the environment. The
first
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 reason is that the growth in travelling by
car
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 can lead to a rise in pollution, traffic jams, and accidents. More cars are likely to result in a rocketing rate of pollution.
Secondly
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, our dependence on cars can lead to decrease in practices,
such
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 as walking and cycling. People may have a higher chance of carrying more potential health risks, like obesity and heart attack.
On the other hand
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, there are many reasons why people prefer to own cars.
Firstly
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, it provides people with the freedom of movement.
For example
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, you can go from a destination to another destination and no time is wasted waiting for the bus or train.
Therefore
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, time and distance are not barriers anymore.
Secondly
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, personal cars can give comfort while travelling compared to the public transports which are so crowded and disgusting.
For instance
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, you can read books, listen to your favourite songs or even play with kids while you are in your own
car
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 but all seems to be impossible on a public transport.
Finally
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, families can go together.
This
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 becomes especially helpful when there are elderly, the disabled or even sick members in the families. In conclusion, having a
car
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 can lead to a few obvious problems, but I believe that owning a
car
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 is the best choice and the benefits that it brings about can outshine its drawbacks.
Submitted by jockeydj on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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