Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents

Nowadays, free

time

activities

become a doubt among

parents

lives with

children

.Some mankind argue that

parents

should be prepared

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

activities

for

children

While

others believe that

this

activity should be arranged by kids.

This

essay will shed light on both views and will give my view of point by the end of the essay. To commence with the first argument, some people prefer to organise

activities

for

children

because they feel they have to take care of them and kids still do not understand what is suitable for them.To elaborate ,

parents

are more aware of what

children

should do in their free

time

In addition

parents

are more likely to orient

children

to behavioural and moral

activities

according to

their age .

For instance

; if a mother decides to arrange swimming pool parties for her

children

this

case, they

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

the adult person to monitor them during their swimming to avoid any issues .

On the other hand

, having free

time

exerts a positive effect on people's mental and physical health.

Also

, many students have outdoor

activities

in their leisure

time

in order to resolve stress because they get stressed at school.

As a result

, all young people should be free to choose what they want to do in their free

time

Additionally

, by having what they want to do,

children

may realise what they are interested in.

For instance

, all famous artists in the world look for their

interested

Replace the word

interests

show examples

through free

time

activities

. In my opinion, there are some advantages and disadvantages.

However

it is clear that

being free to choose their

activities

helps them to look for their interests and potential. In conclusion,

while

it is undeniable that free

time

activities

that

parents

organise are beneficial, it is apparent that leisure

time

activities

that

children

choose by themselves have a more positive influence on their health and dreams.

Submitted by khulood.92 on Sun Aug 18 2024

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grammar

Consider improving grammatical accuracy and variating sentence structures to create a more polished essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of articles.

coherence

Work on making transitions between paragraphs smoother to enhance flow. This will help maintain the reader's interest and ensure coherence throughout your essay.

examples

Try to integrate more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.

task response

The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both views and providing your opinion, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the task.

structure

Introduction and conclusion are present and well-crafted, rounding up your arguments succinctly.

content

You have touched on key points such as parents' guidance and children's freedom which gives a comprehensive view on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

balanced development
expose children to
tailored activities
promote discipline
foster independence
genuine interests
free play
problem-solving skills
emotional well-being
unstructured time
personal exploration
structured activities

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Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local resident can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not.What are your opinions on this?

In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree.