Schools should cut out music to focus on subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Some believe that

art

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and

music

Use synonyms

should be removed from the syllabus of education to enable young students to concentrate on more valuable materials, namely, information technology. In my opinion, I disagree because

although

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other subjects are crucial to learning,

music

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is significant in shaping and nurturing creativity. Education should aim at equipping children of today with knowledge and skills to be able to compete with the future’s challenges.

This

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is because the world never cease developing, and the same goes for the educational materials in continuous relentless evolving.

For example

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, the introduction of the computer sciences as a compulsory course in Finland’s elementary schools aimed at bringing about their future generation with ample expertise in dealing with technology.

Thus

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, if the period requires different materials, the learning process would change to cope with it.

However

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art

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is not only an integral part of any civilization, but

also

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an indispensable subject. If world devoid

art

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then

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we would be living in a concrete community.

Moreover

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, schools should not eliminate

art

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because it supplements other topics, rejuvenates spirits, and ignites creativity.

For instance

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, many students would have the opportunity to learn about

music

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in school, which may motivate them to pursue a career in it.

Therefore

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although

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time is consumed to hone skills in spiritual courses

such

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music

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, they enrich mental abilities and complete the objective of other classes at another level. In conclusion, giving priority to other mundane courses over spiritual ones is a moot issue. I disagree with the notion if education syllabus is excluded from

art

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courses, children would be deprived of the opportunity of discovering their innate talents and the possibilities that may provide.

Sun Aug 25 2019

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Schools should cut out music to focus on subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. What might be the cases? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Lack of fresh water is becoming global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?