Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

#celebrities #film #stars #sportsmen #pop #musicians #money #jobs

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The high income of celebs in the field of sports and entertainment has always been a controversial issue. I firmly agree that they are getting high remuneration for what they are doing and I believe that it is not justified to give them extravagant money for their work. In the following paragraphs, I shall put the viewpoints to support my opinion and

also

Linking Words

suggest some other professions which should be highly paid. My

first

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argument in the disfavour of paying high salaries to these celebrities is that the function of their job is limited

to entertain

Suggestion

to entertaining

public and it is not categories as vital jobs. Many entertainers charge exorbitant amount which is generally in

lacks

a body of (usually fresh) water surrounded by land

lakes

leaks

locks

crores

Suggestion

merely for signing a single film.

For example

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, the established film star Shahrukh Khan charges a huge amount for playing a role in the movies. Despite earning from commercials, other shows and money minted from guest appearances, actors and sportsmen earn a salary which is higher than the average salary a border security guard would earn in entire life.

Nextly

Suggestion

, they hardly have to work for five to six months in order to earn

this

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high

income unlike

Accept comma addition

income, unlike

other professions where employees need to be active throughout a year. There are many other professions which

requires

Suggestion

require

high salaries. The people working in

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

services

such

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as the army, navy and air force are the deserving ones since

its

it is

it's

because of them, the citizens of the country are leading secure lives.

Moreover

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, they selflessly work for the country.

Then

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there are people who are doctors, teachers and nurses who serve the humanity and deserve a good remuneration for working for

this

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noble cause In conclusion, it is undeniable that the celebrities are paid in excess and there is no genuine justification for that.

Therefore

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, it is profoundly important that the people working to make our society a safer and better place to live in should be highly paid.

Sun Aug 25 2019

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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