IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#countries #shootings #people #guns #home #support
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Across the globe, many individuals own guns for self-defence and recreational purposes.
Gun
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 related mortalities in households –
in particular
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 – throw the ethics of
such
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 forms of private
gun
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 ownership into sharp relief. In
this
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 essay, I shall appeal to crime statistics to argue that a person is at a far greater risk being shot if there is a
gun
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 in a
household
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.
This
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 essay will elaborate my idea in following paragraphs.
Firstly
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, it is intuitively obvious that having a
gun
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 in a
household
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 endangers children and teenagers.
This
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 is because minors do not have the requisite knowledge or maturity to handle guns safely.
For example
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, the US Department of Justice recently revealed statistics showing that 150 American children and teenagers die each year because of accidents relating to
household
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 guns.
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Therefore it
Accept comma addition
Therefore, it
 is incontrovertible that
household
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 guns lead to additional shootings.
Secondly
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,
household
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 guns became especially dangerous when spouses have violent arguments.
This
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 is because male sexual rage,
in particular
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, often results in deadly aggression.
For example
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, The International Crime Bureau recently produced statistical evidence that – if there is a
household
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gun
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 – a man is twice as likely (if he discovers his wife having an affair) to kill her in a fit of jealous rage.
Therefore
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, once again,
household
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 guns correlate positively with additional shootings. In conclusion, there is undeniable evidence that having a
gun
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 in a house leads to
further
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 shootings. Given the strength of
this
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 evidence, in the future, more legislature needs to be put in place to limit private
gun
Use synonyms
 ownership.
Submitted by Arshdeep on

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