IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others,however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give opinion.

#people #punishments #offences #traffic #accidents #measures #road #safety
Strict penalties for bad drivers are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Even though, there are other solutions would be more effective in improving
road
 safety,
this
 will not replace the strict penalties in preventing
road
 accidents. Nowadays, the number of
road
 accidents has been increased, the reason for
this
 are many,
such
 as; drunk while driving, bad driving attitude and lack of driving experience. One of the worst subjects on the
road
 is a drunk
driver
,
this
 kind of
driver
 may cause terrible damage to the other people, because they are driving in an uncontrollable way.
Furthermore
, there is a kind of a
driver
 that has lack of driving experience,
however
, he or she is less dangerous because the
driver
 is still in control.
Although
, there are other solutions
instead
 of the strict penalties,
such
 as; encouraging the drivers to not drive while they are drunk, improve propaganda, but the number of
road
 accidents was still high.
This
 is because of a bad behaviour of the drivers have been developed for a very long time,
hence
, the behaviour is like a disease without a cure.
Finally
, when there are no hopes with the alternative solutions, the drivers need the strict penalties to remind them of taking more responsibility when they are driving.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: