People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #work #life #pity #values #materialism

this

contemporery

characteristic of the present

contemporary

era, everyone wants to live a comfortable

life

Therefore they

Accept comma addition

Therefore, they

workhard

Suggestion

work hard

to get all the essential facilities for their better lifestyle.

However there

Accept comma addition

However, there

is a heated argument over the issue that people forgotten their cultural as well as traditional values in

rush

Suggestion

the rush

to buy everything for a comfortable

life

. My inclination lies in line with

this

view. I see eye to eye with the central idea for various reasons.

First

and foremost, people become more materialistic nowadays, they only focus

on show

Accept comma addition

on, show

off about their affluent lifestyle.

Therefore

, they need to work harder and

such

people work even more than the average working hours to get success in less time.But, in craving of getting wealthier they are getting far away from their natural daily

life

schedule, they did not have time to meet their parents friends and family.

Secondly

, people from rural areas left their parents over there and move to urban areas to get better

employement

the state of being employed or having a job

employment

opportunities,

afterthat

Suggestion

after that

they lost in

materialistic world

Suggestion

a materialistic world

the materialistic world

rush

Suggestion

the rush

a rush

to get more money for their comfort people use many different ways, either positive or

neagtive

characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features

negative

negatives

no matter they only need money.

In addition

this

, they hardly get time to go to religious places, libraries and cultural events from where they get some useful knowledge and stay in touch with their diverse and rich culture.

Last

but not least, due to advancement in technology

Accept space

everyone has

smarthone

an unspecified thing, agency, amount, etc.

something

and coming generation

tottaly

to a complete degree or to the full or entire extent

totally

relies on these latest gadgets.

Although

, they think there is no

socal

relating to human society and its members

social

scale

school

status in society without these latest gadgets.

Thus

, they did not respect their parents and fight with them for

such

items.

However

, there are few people,

Although

, they are famous and live

good

Suggestion

a good life

the good life

life

, they stay in touch with the roots of their affluent culture. To recapitulate, I believe we should live a balanced

life

so that we can learn various

aspect

Suggestion

aspects

of our

life

from our rich

haritage culture

Accept comma addition

heritage, culture

heritage culture

and teach our

generation respect, love, happiness and other ethical values.

Sat Aug 31 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problem as result. Why do many working People not get enough exceise? what can be done about this problem?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries,owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be case? Do you think this a positive or negative situation?

Some people believe schoolchildren should help to create rules in their schools. Others say teachers alone should decide what the rules are. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.