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Writing Samples
Band 4

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #work #life #pity #values #materialism
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In
this
Linking Words
contemporery
characteristic of the present
contemporary
 era, everyone wants to live a comfortable
life
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Therefore they
Accept comma addition
Therefore, they
workhard
Suggestion
work hard
 to get all the essential facilities for their better lifestyle.
Linking Words
However there
Accept comma addition
However, there
 is a heated argument over the issue that people forgotten their cultural as well as traditional values in
rush
Suggestion
the rush
 to buy everything for a comfortable
life
Use synonyms
. My inclination lies in line with
this
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 view. I see eye to eye with the central idea for various reasons.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, people become more materialistic nowadays, they only focus
on show
Accept comma addition
on, show
 off about their affluent lifestyle.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they need to work harder and
such
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 people work even more than the average working hours to get success in less time.But, in craving of getting wealthier they are getting far away from their natural daily
life
Use synonyms
 schedule, they did not have time to meet their parents friends and family.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people from rural areas left their parents over there and move to urban areas to get better
employement
the state of being employed or having a job
employment
 opportunities,
afterthat
Suggestion
after that
 they lost in
materialistic world
Suggestion
a materialistic world
the materialistic world
 In
rush
Suggestion
the rush
a rush
 to get more money for their comfort people use many different ways, either positive or
neagtive
characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features
negative
negatives
 no matter they only need money.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, they hardly get time to go to religious places, libraries and cultural events from where they get some useful knowledge and stay in touch with their diverse and rich culture.
Last
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 but not least, due to advancement in technology
,
Accept space
,
 everyone has
smarthone
an unspecified thing, agency, amount, etc.
something
 and coming generation
tottaly
to a complete degree or to the full or entire extent
totally
 relies on these latest gadgets.
Although
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, they think there is no
socal
relating to human society and its members
social
scale
school
 status in society without these latest gadgets.
Thus
Linking Words
, they did not respect their parents and fight with them for
such
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 items.
However
Linking Words
, there are few people,
Although
Linking Words
, they are famous and live
good
Suggestion
a good life
the good life
life
Use synonyms
, they stay in touch with the roots of their affluent culture. To recapitulate, I believe we should live a balanced
life
Use synonyms
 so that we can learn various
aspect
Suggestion
aspects
 of our
life
Use synonyms
 from our rich
haritage culture
Accept comma addition
heritage, culture
heritage culture
 and teach our
next
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 generation respect, love, happiness and other ethical values.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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