IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. ‘Failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough’ To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #‘failure #proof #desire #wasn’t #enough’
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Nowadays, people tend to get a thrill from others
failure
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 without acknowledging their
desire
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.
Furthermore
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 the consequence of a
failure
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 can deter people from taking risks particularly in professional life. I firmly believe that
desire
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 and
failure
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 are,
however
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 a stepping stone to succeed and in
this
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 essay we discuss the same.
Firstly
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, more scientific marvels were derived from the
desire
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 to reach a goal. In technology not only the best inventions were discovered due to the courage the inventor had to keep experimenting but
also
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 it these inventions have brought the world into the modern era. These inventors would have failed numerous times to achieve their objective, but ultimately the result has changed the whole world.
For example
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, Graham Bell created technology like telephone, without the thought of failing to cause hindrance to experiment.So failing is not a problem to reach a goal, but a curve ball to attain success.
Secondly
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,
Failure
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 is important. Particularly, to learn from mistakes is clearly an example how to avoid them in the future and because of
this
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 more often than not has led great medical experiments like the cancer treating drugs become successful after a succession of failures.
For instance
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, If the
desire
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 of the people involved in the experiment would have been hampered by their
failure
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 than a lot of lives would have been lost. To conclude,
although
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 failures are seen as a negative outcome in society, but the main goal of the person, if positive, should be encouraged and the
desire
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 to achieve success should be paramount and critical and we should not discourage people after failing.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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