IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The perspectives on the
rights
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 of
animals
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 vary widely. Some people are convinced that wildlife has the same
rights
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 as humans and that we can not exploit them,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that
animals
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 serve as a good source of various needs. As far as I am concerned, I am strongly in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of the latter, and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated as follows. On the one hand, sharing the same
rights
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 as humans protects
animals
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 significantly, which is beneficial to maintaining a diverse ecosystem.
That is
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 to say, many species can be prevented from disappearing forever.
For instance
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, if the promotion of
this
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 idea had begun earlier, individuals in Eastern Africa might have stopped poaching ivories timely, ensuring endangered local elephants could survive until now.
Secondly
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,
this
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 policy enhances people’s sympathy and willingness to give in the long term, as we tend to cherish and respect lives far more than
previous
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previously
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.
On the other hand
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, it is challenging for people to accept
animals
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’
rights
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. First of all, the vast majority of people nowadays enjoy meals with meat almost every day.
This
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behavior
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behaviour
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 might be attributed to consuming enough daily protein for the human body or merely individual preferences that have developed for a long time.
Therefore
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, offering
animals
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rights
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 seems impractical
due to
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 our dining habits.
Additionally
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, taking advantage of
animals
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 is inevitable for academic purposes.
For example
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, doctors need research data to find solutions to cancers or influenza, which typically kills a great number of
animals
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 for related experiments. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, employing
animals
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 to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 our needs is unavoidable
due to
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 our eating habits and scientific research.

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task achievement
Expand on your points with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence
Ensure that your main ideas flow logically from one to another, possibly by using more linking words.
coherence
Introduce the main idea in each paragraph more clearly to strengthen your argument.
strength
Your introduction clearly outlines the two sides of the argument.
strength
You provide relevant examples that illustrate your points.
strength
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance on the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
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