IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In modern society, laboratory test on
animals
Use synonyms
 is a common
way
Use synonyms
 of ensuring the safety of a new medicine or medical procedure and most people have formed
this
Linking Words
 conception that it is acceptable that
animals
Use synonyms
 are tested on for medical purpose.
However
Linking Words
, whether it is legal is different from whether it is ethical, especially when we see it not from our human perspective.
Obviously
Add a comma
Obviously,
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 people who support
this
Linking Words
 practice put more value on human
life
Use synonyms
 than
Use synonyms
animals
Change preposition
on animals
show examples
’ and they believe that
animals
Use synonyms
 should be sacrificed for the
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 of
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
races
Fix the agreement mistake
race
show examples
. To maximize the health and safety of mankind,
animal
Add an article
the animal
an animal
show examples
 test is the best
way
Use synonyms
 to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accurate and reliable data for a particular medicine or procedure because
animals
Use synonyms
 have similar biological
characters
Replace the word
characteristics
show examples
 and structures. Conducting experiments on
animals
Use synonyms
 before launching a new therapy is
also
Linking Words
 a responsible practice
to
Change preposition
for
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 patients who deserve every respect
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
However
Linking Words
, it is equally reasonable to say that
animals
Use synonyms
 have their intrinsic right to
life
Use synonyms
. In other words,
animals
Use synonyms
 and humans have totally the same rights to live on the earth and
therefore
Linking Words
 no one should take the
life
Use synonyms
 of the other for any purpose. Animal protectors
also
Linking Words
 raise the evidence that laboratory rats have nerve
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 which means that they can feel pain.
That is
Linking Words
 why many opponents of animal testation suggest computer simulation, hoping to replace the cruel
way
Use synonyms
 of experimentation with
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
. To summarize
this
Linking Words
 essay,
while
Linking Words
 I believe
animals
Use synonyms
 should be respected under every circumstance, I have to admit that there is no better
way
Use synonyms
 than medical testation on
animals
Use synonyms
 to secure patients against
potential
Change the word
potentially
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 dangerous effects. Reconciliation is hard to achieve, but
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
show examples
 can be to control the number of
animals
Use synonyms
 tested
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
laboratory
Correct article usage
the laboratory
show examples
 and reduce the pain that they may endure during the experiments.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ethical considerations
  • moral dilemma
  • animal rights
  • alternative methods
  • computer modeling
  • in-vitro testing
  • medical breakthroughs
  • vaccines
  • treatments
  • stringent regulations
  • minimization of suffering
  • humane treatment
  • scientific validity
  • biological similarity
  • applicable results
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