Many people believe that studying at university is the best way to develop oneself, learn new skills and find a well-paid job. Other people believe that more is learned from getting a job straight away after school and leaning whilst working. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Many people argue that learning at a
university
is the best option for obtaining new skill sets to promote self-development and ease the process of finding a well-paid occupation. However
, others believe that by working straight away after school, learning by doing can be performed, thus
more knowledge and skills
are obtained. I personally agree with the first argument because universities can provide the
Correct article usage
apply
students
with better preparation before entering their career life.
It is true that universities can provide knowledge and skills
development for their students
. The formal curriculum provides pupils not only theoretical explanations,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
real-life practices to create social impacts. In Indonesia, public university
students
are obligated to perform a social program intended to bring prosperity to rural areas. By participating in this
event, students
can implement the things they have learned based on their major.
However
, another opinion is that the years spent to study
at a formal education institute can be used to train new recruits in a company with the right and specific Change the verb form
studying
skills
. It is often do
we see graduates from a renowned Unnecessary verb
apply
university
must adapt to the skills
needed in the industry. For instance
, nowadays, companies are opening a lot of development programs for fresh graduates. This
indicates that the skills
offered by the candidates do not match what the industry needs.
As a conclusion, studying at a university
may be preferable as it prepares the students
before entering their career by providing access towards knowledge and skills
. On the contrary
, working straight away may create possibilities for labors
to learn the right Replace the word
labourers
specification
needed.Fix the agreement mistake
specifications
Submitted by muhammadraditya9 on
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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses both viewpoints and provides a clear opinion. Make sure to delve a bit deeper into specific examples for better substantiation of your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas for better flow and readability. You are nearly there but some sections feel slightly disjointed.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical and phrasing errors for more clarity and precision. For example, 'do we see' should be 'we see'. Minor issues like this slightly affect readability.
introduction
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well, succinctly presenting both sides of the argument and stating your own position.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and gives a clear final statement on your stance.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both views, which is excellent for a task of this nature.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.