IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that music can bring people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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There is little doubt that humans are wired for
music
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. There is something magical about
this
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 art that seems to bind us together and help us connect with each other on a personal level. It is intriguing to note that
this
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 tends to happen irrespective of people’s
age
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 and
culture
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, but the question is how?
Music
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 can be particularly potent in bringing about closeness by releasing the hormone
endorphin
male sex hormone that is produced in the testes and responsible for typical male sexual characteristics
androgen
, and
age
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 is not usually subject to
this
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 natural phenomenon. Listening to
music
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 or singing together results in positive emotions, suggesting a pathway through which people of different ages can feel closer to one another.
This
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 prepares the ground for more meaningful interactions between these individuals, improving their chances of developing friendships based on shared interests.
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Hence taking
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Hence, taking
age
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 out of the equation. Let us not forget either that
music
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 can break down the barriers of language and cultural differences. When listening to
music
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, people are inclined to be touched by melodies more than they are by lyrics, if at all.
This
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 means that
culture
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 and language virtually have no bearing on how or why a person is drawn to a particular song. Everyone would agree that it is a matter of individual taste, and
culture
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 has little impact on it. So it only takes a hit record to unite us across race, religious beliefs and
culture
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. All these arguments confirm
music
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’s place in augmenting relationships that cross the usual cultural and
age
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-related barriers. After all,
music
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 is all about melody or rhythm, and nothing can stop it from bringing people together; be it
age
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 or
culture
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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