IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. Do you agree or disagree?

#accessibility #university
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Currently, the discourse regarding
enrollment
Suggestion
 into the
university
Use synonyms
 is increasingly topical. Some people contend that low and high
income
Use synonyms
 students cannot afford higher
education
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 I strongly disagree with the idea mentioned because of its academic impact, the
university
Use synonyms
 should ensure the low economic
income
Use synonyms
 sophomore can afford college through
scholarship program
Suggestion
a scholarship program
scholarship programs
the scholarship program
. One of the vital arguments
for every
Accept comma addition
for, every
students
Suggestion
student
 can afford college is its the requirement to
enroll
register formally as a participant or member
enrol
 in
university
Use synonyms
 is based from academic merits.
This
Linking Words
 is because, in
this
Linking Words
 issue, since academic merits can be
use
Suggestion
used
 to considerate the appropriateness of prospective students. The
university
Use synonyms
 can determine the candidate objectively. Gadjah Mada
University
Use synonyms
 is an excellent example for
this
Linking Words
; around 5.000 undergraduate students who accepted in
this
Linking Words
 campus, mostly come from different economic background.
Therefore
Linking Words
, regardless of each scholar condition, every
individuals
Suggestion
individual
have
Suggestion
has
a
Suggestion
an
 equal opportunity to afford higher
education
Use synonyms
 through their academic potentials.
However
Linking Words
, the idea
can be backfire
Suggestion
can backfire
 if
Use synonyms
university
Suggestion
the university
 cannot develop the
scholarships
Suggestion
scholarship
 program for low
income
Use synonyms
 students properly.
In other words
Linking Words
, even though poor scholar can able to enter
Use synonyms
university
Suggestion
the university
 through their achievement.
In
Suggestion
At
 some points, if they cannot afford scholarship, the students face some difficulties
such
Linking Words
 as cannot pay the
tuiton
a fee paid for instruction (especially for higher education)
tuition
 fee regularly and should rely on part-time working.
This
Linking Words
 is illustrated by a recent study by Stanford
University
Use synonyms
 finding
this
Linking Words
 type of cases in several regions in the Indonesia and adverse academic record of the students. For that reason, to make higher
education
Use synonyms
 more affordable for everyone,
Use synonyms
university
Suggestion
the university
 should assess the number of low
income
Use synonyms
 students more specific in order to provide the scholarships fairly. To conclude, considering the benefits of requirement through academic merits, its highly reasonable that higher
education
Use synonyms
 can reach out any student that come from different
economy
Suggestion
economic
 background.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, to keep
poor student
Suggestion
the poor student
 can afford higher
education
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
university
Suggestion
the university
 should make an effort to develop scholarship program.
Submitted by anandarzky on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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