IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the media should be for entertainment only. While other people believed that media should have education value. Discuss both view and give your own view

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Opinions are divided between ideas that the
media
Use synonyms
 should serve entertainment purposes and foster
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 values. In my opinion, the
media
Use synonyms
 can and should be both entertaining and educational. On the one hand, the
media
Use synonyms
 has a prominent role in entertainment.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they are communication outlets or tools and devices used to store and deliver
information
Use synonyms
 or data
such
Linking Words
 as TV, the radio,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
computers, etc. It is widely believed that the
media
Use synonyms
 are a valuable and practical tool for
information
Use synonyms
 dissemination. The reason why the
media
Use synonyms
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 popular is its easily and rapidly updated news and
information
Use synonyms
. Every second in life, the electronic
media
Use synonyms
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 its target audience with
up to the minute
Add a hyphen
up-to-the-minute
show examples
 breaking news and stories.
For example
Linking Words
, via the Internet, readers may get instant access to the most up-to-date
information
Use synonyms
 about the War Trade between the USA and China.
Also
Linking Words
, more and more viewers are attracted to the game shows and reality
programs
Use synonyms
 on television because of their high amusement level and top-ranking quality.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that educational aspects should be appreciated. The
media
Use synonyms
 can indeed affect directly their users, especially children and teenagers. At present, there are several
programs
Use synonyms
 which have violent actions, swearing or discourteous speeches.
Moreover
Linking Words
, those
programs
Use synonyms
 contain sexual images which are inappropriate
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their ages.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is advisable that the government take proper consideration
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 issuance of relevant educational
programs
Use synonyms
 through the
media
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, even though there are different opinions between the entertainment purposes and educational values of the
media
Use synonyms
, I agree with both of these views.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Ensure that the essay clearly addresses both views and provides a balanced argument for each. \
The logical structure of the essay is good, but make sure that the introduction and conclusion explicitly state the writer's own view in response to the prompt.
The essay lacks specific examples to support the main points. Try to include more relevant and specific examples to enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: