IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The first chart explains why some
people
Use synonyms
 choose
Add an article
a bicycle
show examples
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 to travel to
work
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 chart illustrates some reasons why they prefer
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 to go to
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer bicycles to
work
Use synonyms
 are mostly concerned about fitness, health and pollution.
However
Linking Words
, comfort is the main
reason
Use synonyms
 why
people
Use synonyms
 use
Use synonyms
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 for travel during
work
Use synonyms
. A little
also
Linking Words
 consider
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
, as it is safer than cycling. Health and fitness are one of the main reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
cycle
Add the particle
to cycle
show examples
.
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 30% of the
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 think about pollution and use bicycles.
Next
Linking Words
, 15% of the
people
Use synonyms
 consider No parking as the main
reason
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 using cars. 13% think that cycling involves no costs and
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 12% think that cycling is much faster than driving a
car
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, comfort is the prime
reason
Use synonyms
 why 40%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 drive. 21% of the
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 far from their home
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
. Faster than cycling and carrying things to
work
Use synonyms
 is the primary
reason
Use synonyms
 for 28% of
people
Use synonyms
, 14% each respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, 11% assume that driving is safer compared to cycling.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, work, car, reason with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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